Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph depicts the numbering those people who visited the Caryl island between 2000 to 2008. In upcoming paragrapgh i will be underline the highest and lowest of visiting people.
To start with, counting of highest people who visiting first time was stood at 8000 but in 2002 the numbering these masses going at lowest in 2002. As compared to returning visitors stcuk at 2500, highest peak targeted by returing people count was increaded at 10000 in 2002. The data shows 12000 people was returning in 2004.
Moreover, in 2006 first time visitors are showing at 12000 between 2006 to 2008.In 2004 the count of returning people increased from 12000 to 15000 in 2006
Overall, the numbering of returning visitors at Caryl island witnessed at peak as compared to new visitors. The one is in 2000 which was 2200.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have attempted to report on the main features of the graph, the information is presented in a fragmented and often confusing manner. Several data points are inaccurate or unclear, such as the claim that returning visitors reached 12,000 in 2004 when the graph shows a different trend. The overview is also weak and does not effectively highlight the key differences or trends between the two groups of visitors. To improve, ensure you provide a clear, accurate summary of the data and meet the length requirement to allow for full development of your points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical flow. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the sentences within the paragraphs are disjointed and difficult to follow. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'To start with' and 'Moreover', which do not logically connect the ideas presented. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to understand which data point is being discussed. To improve, focus on using transition words that accurately reflect the relationship between ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that contributes to the overall summary.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. You rely on repetitive and non-academic phrasing such as 'numbering those people', 'counting of highest people', and 'masses'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'stcuk at' and 'targeted by returing people count'. These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the data. To improve, you should learn and use more precise vocabulary related to describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase'. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary is essential for achieving a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often make the meaning unclear. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'counting... was stood'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'the numbering these masses going at lowest'). The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, and there are several spelling mistakes. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb forms, and proofreading your work to eliminate simple slips. Practicing complex sentence structures will also help improve your range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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