Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of the first time visitors and returning to the visitors who visted caryi island from 2000 to 2008.

overall, The number of the visiter in the first time visitors and returning visitors to the caryi island in the 2000 to 2008. then the 2 number show of the visitors in the caryi island. and the first time visitors and the returning visitors in the caryi island.

First of all, The First time visitors in the caryi island in 2000 is 8000 people and 2002 in the down of the 4000 and 2004 up to the 6000 people and the 2006 up to the 8300 people and 2008 is up to the 12000 people.

Secondly, The Returning visitors in the caryi island 2000 in the down of the 3000 people and 2002 is up to the 10000 people and the 2004 is the 12000 people and the 2006 is the up to the 15000 people and the 2008 is down of the 13500 people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the task by reporting data from the line graph regarding first-time and returning visitors to Caryl Island between 2000 and 2008. However, the communication is minimal and heavily impaired by unclear phrasing and a repetitive, confusing overview section. While the writer manages to pick out individual figures for both categories across the years, the lack of a proper, coherent summary and failure to make meaningful comparisons keeps the response at this level. To improve, the writer needs to present a clear overview of the main trends rather than listing every single data point mechanically, and ensure the information is reported accurately and smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text is divided into paragraphs, which shows a basic attempt at organization, but the overall progression of ideas is weak. The overview section is disjointed, repetitive, and fails to introduce the graph properly, containing fragmented sentences such as 'then the 2 number show of the visitors'. Transitional phrases like 'First of all' and 'Secondly' are used to structure the body paragraphs, but the connections between sentences within these paragraphs feel mechanical and disjointed. Referencing is frequently unclear due to repetitive phrasing. To achieve a higher band score, the writer must improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, write a coherent introduction and overview, and use cohesive devices more naturally without repetitive padding.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple phrases like 'people', 'up to', and 'down of' to describe numerical changes. There are frequent lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as spelling the location incorrectly as 'caryi island' and awkward phrasing like 'returning to the visitors' and 'the visiter in the first time visitors'. The range of vocabulary is severely restricted, which impedes clear communication. To move up to a higher band, the student needs to incorporate a wider range of appropriate vocabulary for describing trends and data, such as verbs like 'rose', 'fluctuated', or 'declined', and nouns like 'proportion' or 'figure', while paying closer attention to accurate word formation and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical structures are very limited and heavily repetitive. Most sentences rely on simple structures like subject-verb-complement patterns that are often incorrectly formed due to severe issues with articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement. For example, phrases like 'in 2000 is 8000 people and 2002 in the down of the 4000' demonstrate poor control over basic sentence construction and prepositional usage. Capitalisation and punctuation are also applied erratically throughout the text. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, the student must focus on foundational sentence structures, ensuring correct verb tenses for past data, appropriate use of articles, and eliminating frequent errors that obscure the intended meaning of the sentences.

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