Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Health services are essential for humans. Private healthcare services which provides an adeqiuate health care for individuals. Private hospitals are expensive than public services. In my opinion, private services are more beneficial for individuals than public services.
On the one hand, Private services are beneficial, as the service they provide and responsibility towards individuals. Elaborating further, private hospitals mainly prioritize instant services by following protocols towards patients and provide clear response towards patients for their concerns. Although private hospitals are expensive than public services, they provide certain services like frequent consultation and proper medication. For example, Private services maintain cleanness with basic facilities for people in hospital premises and they are more serious about emergency services towards patients.
On the other hand, Private services which are having disadvantages towards patients, whereas this private services are expensive and have problems in admission processes. Elaborating further, Private hospitals strict protocols for OPT process where people suffers with documentation in emergency cases; however, poor people face lot of problems with payments as they are expansive. In addition, people also face problems in insurance process. For example, private hospitals prepare huge amount of bills and poor people face problem to pay and if the patient is dead they deny to provide body for their family.
In conclusion, private services are beneficial for individuals but have some disadvantages where people face problems
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an opinion on whether zoos should be closed, but the essay discusses private versus public healthcare services. Consequently, the task has not been addressed at all. Furthermore, the essay is under the 250-word minimum requirement (227 words), which further impacts the score. Because the content does not relate to the prompt, it is impossible to develop a position or provide relevant arguments. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your ideas directly answer the specific question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing and some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion'. However, the logical flow is hindered by the fact that the content is irrelevant to the prompt. The progression of ideas is mechanical, and the lack of a clear central topic related to the task makes the overall structure ineffective. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph directly supports a clear thesis statement that addresses the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'expensive than' (should be 'more expensive than') and 'cleanness' (should be 'cleanliness'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas, and the misuse of terms like 'OPT process' and 'documentation' in the context of healthcare is confusing. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Private healthcare services which provides'), incorrect comparative structures ('expensive than'), and sentence fragments ('Private services which are having disadvantages...'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice using comparative adjectives correctly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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