Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is often argued that we no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed . This essay will discuss do you agree or disagree. Firstly, i believe that the animals have their own freedom and life as well as humans, but animals are also safe in the zoos and they entertain the humans. so animals should kept in the zoos , because if they will not stay in the zoos so they can harm anyone, So this is not the good thinking . for example if they should not kept in the zoo they can attack on anyone, and this is so dangerous thing. Secondly, why i don't support this and why i disagree with this statement, In other words, the animals should kept in the zoos because they are safe there, why I disagree this statement because if they should not kept in the zoos so they will harm anyone the most dangerous animals like tiger , lion , cheetah and snakes also they are not the safest animals, so they should kept in the zoo's and the peoples will say negative about the government . In conclusion, I strongly disagree that no longer animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed , because they can harm anyone if we not kept in the zoos and this is the dangerous statement,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state a clear position, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. You focus almost exclusively on the idea that animals are dangerous, failing to address the broader debate regarding animal welfare, conservation, or the educational role of zoos. The ideas are under-developed, and the conclusion simply restates the initial point without adding any synthesis. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and explore multiple facets of the topic to reach the required length and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical structure. While you use transition words like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', the progression of ideas is circular and repetitive. Paragraphing is present but ineffective, as the content within the paragraphs does not flow logically. There is a lack of variety in cohesive devices, and the referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point that contributes to the overall argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently reuse basic words such as 'animals', 'zoos', 'harm', and 'dangerous'. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or an attempt to use precise vocabulary to convey your ideas. Furthermore, there are errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the peoples will say negative about the government', which is awkward and unclear. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'conservation', 'captivity', 'habitat', or 'ethical concerns', and focus on using words in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'animals should kept in the zoos'), incorrect verb forms, and run-on sentences. Punctuation is also problematic, with excessive use of commas and incorrect capitalization. The range of sentence structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, repetitive clauses. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs are correctly conjugated and that sentences are properly punctuated. Practice writing more complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions to improve your grammatical range.
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