Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Some people blive that nowadays we dont kept animals in zoos so government should close the zoo. Zoo is the entertainment place for childrens, specialy for lower class areaa individivals, in contrast ticket price of the zoo are affortable to everyone.In my opinion , the idea of close the use is not effective.
On the one hand, zoos are the enjoyable place to the poor people. Individuals who live to lower class area and cant afford expensve place for hangout is beneficail for those people. For illustrate, in our country Pakistan above of 50% humens are living a lower class lilve due lack of facilites, so in that situation, its difficult to go to the expensive pleases. In addition, zoo is the most favourite place to children. Moreover, childerens are loved to watched animals live instead of TV. Consequency, if zoos will be close, so this will impact on the lower class areas.
On the other hand, Zoos price are affordable to everyone. Ticket price of the zoos are quite low as compared to sappire park . For instance, sappire park are so expensive but zoo are budgetable to middle and lower class ,in that way every person have facility to see wide animals equally. Furtharmore, zoo are the good and affordable place to every. While governmen should provide more animals places in the country, It will help people to enhance the knowladge about animals.
Many people think that animals kept in the zoo are just waste of time and money, it should be closed now. The reason of other places are more impressive but zoos are sigmificant place for lower class people and it is also affordacle to every person. In my perspactive , zoos are the main source of poor peaple mind relaxation and joy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear, albeit simply expressed, position that zoos should not be closed. The writer presents relevant arguments centred on the affordability of zoos and their importance as recreational spaces for lower-income families and children, such as the mention of Pakistan and local comparison parks. However, the ideas lack deep development and tend to be repetitive, often circling back to the same points about ticket prices and poor people without introducing broader perspectives like conservation, education, or animal welfare. While all parts of the prompt are addressed in a general sense, the support remains somewhat limited and underdeveloped, placing it firmly at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt at logical organisation. Paragraphing is present, though the progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and repetition. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes misused, such as 'For illustrate' instead of 'For illustration' or 'To illustrate', and 'Consequency' instead of 'Consequently'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical links between sentences. Overall arrangement is somewhat coherent, but mechanical cohesion and frequent errors in logical transitions warrant a Band 5.0 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The lexical range is limited and frequently hindered by severe spelling and word-choice errors. Examples include 'blvive' instead of believe, 'dont kept' instead of don't keep, 'affortable' instead of affordable, 'expensve' instead of expensive, 'humens' instead of humans, 'pleases' instead of places, 'childerens' instead of children, 'sappire' instead of safari, 'budgetable' instead of budget-friendly, 'knowladge' instead of knowledge, 'sigmificant' instead of significant, and 'perspactive' instead of perspective. These errors often cause strain for the reader and impede smooth communication, reflecting the descriptor for Band 4.0 where basic vocabulary and frequent errors prevail.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The student uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic subject-verb patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently marred by foundational grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('zoos price are', 'sappire park are'), tense errors ('nowadays we dont kept animals'), and missing auxiliary verbs. Punctuation is also erratic, with misplaced commas and spacing errors. Because errors are frequent, pervasive, and often distort the intended meaning, the grammar aligns with Band 4.0.
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