Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Discussion about zoos play a crucial role in life have long been ongoing. It is very interesting topic to discuss in our society as it has many pros and cons. I will use pertinents arguments to explain why the former notion merits attention.

Zoos is the paramount of the importance for the community. In the zoo organizer kept the different types odf animals a which animal like monkeys bears, lions, and other tupes of animals etc. To maintain the zoo because it is the best way to business. To conduct the ticket for the zoo visitors to see the different animals. Zoos must be there in one country where animals keep living save and who peoples would never see animals in our see they going their for his pure delight.

When the schools planned to the trip for students in the zoo and many of the student arrived in the zoo and they bought the tickets whereby money is collected would be spent on their country is the good way to build the economy. On the other hand who animals is weak and rare they lived save in the zoo futheremore had good feed there.

Additionall where animals is extinct from the jungles all over the world like a pandas he is living save in the zoo and his population simply growing in that place.for example after hard months work noting is more invigorating that an excursion in the natural sight and sound. I conferred with some of my friends about a trip on the zoo. As customarily got their freshly and time effectively. When i enter in the zoo i really enjoyed and see many types of animals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially. While the writer attempts to take a position regarding whether zoos should be closed, the ideas presented remain limited and under-developed throughout the essay. For instance, the mention that zoos act as a business to generate income or provide a place for school trips lacks proper extension and support. Furthermore, the argument shifts into a personal narrative about a zoo visit in the final paragraph rather than maintaining a consistent discussion on the core issue. To move towards a higher band, the writer needs to present fully developed main ideas supported by relevant examples and maintain a clear, consistent stance from start to finish without straying into unrelated personal anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some organisation, but it lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas is often disjointed, such as shifting abruptly from economic arguments to personal experiences within the same or subsequent paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, as seen with repetitive connectors like 'Additionall' and 'On the other hand' which do not always signal logical relationships correctly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it hard to follow the writer's train of thought. To improve, the writer should ensure that every paragraph has a clear central topic, use a wider variety of cohesive ties more naturally, and structure the progression of ideas so that the argument flows logically from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, which restricts the quality of the response. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'invigorating' and 'excursion', but these are often accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and form, such as 'pertinents arguments', 'tupes of animals', and 'freshly' instead of 'fresh'. There are also frequent spelling and word-formation inaccuracies throughout the text, including 'futheremore' and 'noting'. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, pay closer attention to word formation and collocations, and ensure that vocabulary is chosen accurately to convey precise meanings.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, with frequent grammatical errors that often distort meaning. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Zoos is' and 'who animals is weak', incorrect verb forms and tenses, and missing or misplaced articles. Additionally, clauses are often linked incorrectly, leading to faulty complex sentences like 'To conduct the ticket for the zoo visitors to see the different animals.' Punctuation is also problematic throughout the text. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and highlight a lack of control over basic grammatical patterns. To progress, the writer needs to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb-subject agreement, and reducing errors in articles and prepositions.

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