Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this globalized world of advancement and technology, so zoo should be closed has become a controversial issue. We no longer need to have animals kept in zoo. I will discuss both first and then i will give my own opinion at the end.

On the one hand, there are several benefits of animals. Firstly, i want to talk about animal according to some people. Mostly people want to see the animal in zoos. That way people cannot agree this point to we no longer need to have animals kept in zoos. But some people cannot agree about kept the animal in zoos. Because he want to give the freedom of animal. and animal reduce the own stree and suffering.

Futermore, i think we have kepts the animal in zoo because children learn the more lesson to see the animal in zoos. And doctors check the animal about his health every time.

In conslusion, according to me animal is dangers. i agree this point to kept the animal in zoos

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

First, it must be noted that this response contains only 151 words, failing the minimum requirement of 250 words, with 19 words copied from the prompt left uncounted. Consequently, the task is addressed only minimally and tangentially. The writer attempts to discuss whether zoos should be closed, mentioning general ideas such as animal freedom and children learning lessons, but these points are extremely limited, repetitive, and under-developed. The position stated in the introduction and conclusion is somewhat confused, asserting that animals are dangerous and therefore kept in zoos, rather than fully engaging with the debate in a sustained manner. To move to a higher band, the writer must ensure the essay reaches the required word count and extends ideas with relevant explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some basic organization into paragraphs, including an introduction, body sections, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, such as using 'Firstly, i want to talk about animal according to some people' and 'Futermore', which do not connect ideas logically. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the writer's line of thought. For example, pronouns like 'he' are used confusingly without clear antecedents. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer needs to use a wider range of cohesive devices accurately, ensure logical sequencing between sentences and paragraphs, and maintain a clear, unified progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'animal', 'zoos', 'people', and 'see' throughout the response. There are frequent errors in word choice, word form, and spelling, such as 'Futermore', 'conslusion', 'dangers' instead of 'dangerous', and awkward phrases like 'reduce the own stree and suffering'. These lexical limitations and errors strain the reader and impede smooth communication at times. To achieve a higher band, the writer must develop a broader range of vocabulary, use less common lexical items with greater precision, and pay closer attention to correct word forms, collocations, and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences and basic attempts at complex forms that are frequently faulty, such as 'That way people cannot agree this point to we no longer need to have animals kept in zoos.' Errors in grammar and punctuation are frequent, including subject-verb agreement issues ('mostly people want', 'animal reduce'), missing articles ('see the animal'), incorrect prepositions ('agree this point to'), and capitalization errors ('i'). These frequent errors often distort the intended meaning and cause difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer needs to practice constructing a wider variety of complex sentence forms with accurate punctuation and grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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