Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

we no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed. some animals they like the open environment and it is very difficult for them to grow in the limited area like fish so it is very important for them to stay in the open envirnment where they can enjoy otherwise they may face death.

one the major advantage of having no need of any kind of zoo is that some animals like to stay in the environment where they can grow and they like their evironment. for example beer like to live in the cold environment and there are so many animals that naturally living the too cold environment but when we put these types of the animals in the zoo then we cannot provide them the same environment and we give them the quality of food that is their basic need. when they face these issues in the closed environment then they cannot survive and they faced death and the owner the zoo have to pay the price for that because these types of the animals are very expensive to buy.

The major disadvantage of having no zoo is that it is one kind of the tourist place and also one kind of the business so the people who earn a lot of the money from this source they may face very difficulties to survive in their life so this is one of the major disadvantage. however, it is a good job for the disabled person to earn money through this business.

In conclusions, having no longer need of a zoo have some advantages and disadvantages but i will say zoo is a tourist place and it should not be kept close.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only minimally, presenting a position that is somewhat unclear and shifting throughout the essay. While the writer attempts to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of zoos, the ideas are limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion regarding animals facing death in closed environments lacks specific, well-supported arguments or relevant examples from the writer's own knowledge, relying instead on vague generalisations such as "beer like to live in the cold environment." The conclusion also contradicts the initial prompt by stating that zoos should not be kept close, without fully resolving the main thesis. To move to a higher band, the writer must ensure a clear, consistent position is maintained throughout and that all main ideas are extended with well-reasoned explanations and relevant supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation in the essay, as it is divided into paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the logical transitions between paragraphs are weak. Cohesive devices are used inadequately or repetitively, such as the frequent reliance on phrases like "one the major advantage" and "another one." Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of arguments. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion often breaks down due to run-on sentences and a lack of proper linking words. To improve, the writer needs to ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that cohesive devices are used more naturally to link sentences and ideas logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, representing a limited range that is only minimally adequate for the task. The writer frequently repeats simple words like "environment," "animals," and "business." There are also noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as writing "beer" instead of "bears," and referring to living in a "too cold environment." While some attempts are made to use less common vocabulary, inaccuracies in word form, collocation, and spelling—such as "envirnment" and "conclusions"—cause some difficulty for the reader and occasionally impede communication. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, pay closer attention to spelling and word formation, and use precise lexical items appropriate to the topic of animal conservation and tourism.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences or faulty attempts at complex ones. Frequent grammatical errors are present throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., "some animals they like"), missing or incorrect articles (e.g., "owner the zoo"), and incorrect prepositions (e.g., "living the too cold environment"). Punctuation and capitalization are also poorly controlled, with sentences starting in lowercase and running together without proper periods or commas. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. To progress, the writer needs to practice forming accurate simple and complex sentences, improve control over basic grammatical agreements, and ensure correct punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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