Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that zoos should be closed as we no longer require to have animals kept in zoos. I firmly agree with the view that zoos should be closed due to several compelling reasons. This essay will not only elaborate on my viewpoint but also provide revelant examples to support it.

To commence with, one of the most significant reason is that authorities of zoos have restricted the animals to have freedom in order to provide entertainment to general public. In other words, they have been runining these business to earn more money through ticket prices selling to the visitors. For instance, individuals from any age group visit the zoos in order to watch the wild animals for their entertainment and relaxation in their holidays. As a result, it has hindered the freedom of the animals as authorities are catching animals to make their business more sucessful.

Moreover, another crucial factor to consider is that if the animals of specific species doesnot have freedom for natural mating that might arised a problem of extinction. A particularly good example of this is there have been various animals who are in the verge of extinction and if they don't have oppurtunity for mating they can't produce offspring to continue their generation. Furthermore, the animals in the zoos might also suffers from mental health problem due to no excess of freedom and had to live in closed area rather than their natural habitat.

In conclusion, some may argue that zoos shouldn't be closed. I believed that they should be closed because of the reasons discussed above. Therefore, animals should have freedom to live in their natural habitat rather than in a zoos for the entertainment and business purpose for the humans.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task by taking a clear and consistent position throughout that zoos should be closed. The ideas presented are generally relevant, such as the restriction of animal freedom for commercial entertainment and the potential risks to species extinction and mental health. However, some of these ideas are slightly under-developed or rely on generalisations rather than deep exploration. For example, the point regarding natural mating and extinction is introduced but not fully explained with a precise real-world scientific example. To reach the next level, the writer needs to extend and support all main arguments with more thorough explanations and specific, well-integrated examples, ensuring that every point is explored to its full potential.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout, earning a solid rating in this area. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, beginning with a well-defined introduction, moving through body paragraphs with standard signposting devices like 'To commence with' and 'Moreover', and concluding with a clear summary of the writer's stance. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to structure the argument. Cohesive devices are generally well managed, though at times referencing and transitions can feel slightly mechanical. To progress further, the writer should aim for a more flexible and subtle use of cohesive ties, ensuring that relationships between sentences flow seamlessly without relying on formulaic transition phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing sufficient range to communicate the main arguments about animal freedom and commercial entertainment. The writer attempts some less common lexical items, such as 'compelling reasons', 'extinction', and 'natural habitat'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that prevent a higher score. Examples include 'runining these business' instead of running these businesses, 'doesnot have freedom' instead of do not have freedom, and 'excess of freedom' instead of access to freedom. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'revelant', 'sucessful', 'oppurtunity', and 'suffers'. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, improve precision in word choice, and eliminate basic spelling and word-form inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures such as relative clauses and conditional-like statements. There are several error-free sentences, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. However, grammar and punctuation errors persist throughout the body paragraphs, including issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'one of the most significant reason is that' instead of reasons are, and 'in a zoos' instead of in zoos. Furthermore, awkward phrasing like 'require to have animals kept' indicates that attempts at complex structures can sometimes result in clumsy grammar. To move up, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free sentences and ensure greater accuracy in basic grammatical patterns and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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