Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Animals are creatures that tend to be kept up in an open environment because of their nature .

I agree on that animals should not be kept in zoo's the first point that should be brought into attention is that how nature from the miedeival time treat the animals , whether at that time animals are kept in closed environment or in open nature. The answer is that they are free to move in nature with no restriction similary zoos should not be present beacuse zoos are built to please the human being , from the anicent time people use animals as their entertainment and they would love to see to animals fighting with each other whereas now in the modern world we could expereince differnt ways of excitement , but not the animal trapped in a jail like cage .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position—“I agree” that zoos should not keep animals—and give a relevant reason: animals are restricted for human entertainment. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. The historical discussion about how people treated animals is not clearly connected to whether zoos should close today, and the claim that modern people have other forms of excitement is not explained or supported with an example. You also do not consider the role zoos may play in conservation or education, or explain why these would not justify keeping them open. The response is substantially below the required 250 words, so there is not enough development to support your position. Add distinct reasons and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic line of thought: you introduce animals’ need for freedom, state your agreement, and then discuss entertainment and cages. However, the ideas are not arranged into a clear essay structure. The response has no developed body paragraphs or conclusion, and the opening sentence does not lead smoothly into the argument. The long sentence beginning “the first point that should be brought into attention” combines several ideas, making their relationships difficult to follow. Linking expressions such as “the first point” and “whereas” are attempted, but the contrast is not clearly established. Organise the response into an introduction, separate paragraphs for each reason, and a conclusion; use clear links to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “restriction,” “entertainment,” “modern world,” and “cage,” which helps communicate your concern about animal welfare. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less natural. For example, “kept up in an open environment” does not clearly express the intended idea, and “please the human being” is an awkward way to describe why zoos exist. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “miedeival,” “similary,” “beacuse,” and “expereince.” Build a more precise range for discussing animal welfare, conservation, and education, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “whereas,” but control is inconsistent. The opening sentence has an unclear structure, while “I agree on that animals should not be kept in zoo’s” shows problems with the verb pattern, article use, and plural form. In “the first point … is that how nature … treat the animals,” the clause structure and subject–verb agreement are faulty. The final sentence is also very long and contains several clauses that are not clearly connected. These errors can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise accurate sentence patterns such as “I agree that…” and “One reason is that…,” and use shorter sentences before attempting longer, multi-clause structures.

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