Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The Zoos must have animals in my opinion and should not be closed or removal of any animal .

iam really not agree with it because if we look at zoos and visitors intereset in animals thats increasing day by day.

zoos owners are earning a lot of money and good wishes by tourists . Animals are most interesting in zoos without animals zoos seems like you are serving empty mug without coffee on customer table .

we oftenly go to zoos for seeing the animals and enjoy a lot of woth them . We Just not enjoy with animals but we lot of information and know about the food and living culture of animals .So Animals in zoos are like a backbone in the human if you will remove it they will be like dead body not worth it for anyone .

iam strictly opposite the decison and will never say this is good decision .

if we talk about what are basic benefits and why animal numbers should be raise in the zoos by answer will be simple and Unique that Animals are most important and significant in zoos they play vitual role to get a lot of traffic and attraction of peoples .

childreens also love to see and enjoy with animals its like motivational and tourism spot for them removal of animal will be absolutely disgunished for for them and their parents who take their childreen in the zoos for such tour or study purposes .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear position against closing zoos, and you give relevant reasons, including public interest, learning about animals, and children’s enjoyment. These points show an attempt to address the question. However, the response only partially develops the argument: claims such as zoos earning money and attracting visitors do not explain why keeping animals there is beneficial for the animals or why this outweighs concerns about their welfare. The comparison of a zoo to an “empty mug” is vivid but does not provide evidence. The discussion also repeats that animals are important rather than extending the reasons with specific examples or explanation. To strengthen the response, address the central issue directly and support each main reason with a clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable overall direction: it opposes closure and then gives reasons involving visitors, learning, and children. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression is difficult to follow. Several points repeat the same claim that animals are essential to zoos, while the shift to “basic benefits” does not clearly introduce a distinct argument. Linking phrases such as “if we talk about” and “not only…but” are attempted, but connections between claims are often unclear, and punctuation makes sentence boundaries hard to identify. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs with one main reason each, and a conclusion. Use clear references and linking expressions to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “visitors,” “tourism spot,” “motivational,” and “significant,” and the reader can generally identify your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to follow. For example, “good wishes by tourists” does not clearly express the intended benefit, and “traffic and attraction of peoples” is an unnatural way to describe visitor numbers. Repetition of “animals,” “zoos,” and “important” also limits precision. Spelling errors such as “intereset,” “vitual,” and “disgunished” further affect clarity. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling, word forms, and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, for example, “if we look at zoos and visitors…” and the sentence about children and their parents. However, control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “The Zoos must have animals,” “we lot of information,” and “if you will remove it they will be like dead body,” where articles, verb forms, and sentence construction are not controlled. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several ideas joined without clear sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “although.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure during revision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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