Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argued that we no longer have animals are kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed. I completly disagree with this viewpoint because animals are kept in their natural habitat not at the zoos and animals are made for forest not for zoos. This essay will explain the key reason behind my position.

The primary reason why I hold thid view is that animals should kept in thier natural habitat. This is mainly because animals in zoos become dependent. As a result they lose their ability of hunting. For example if a lions are kept in zoos lions will become lazy due to feeding by zoos members. This clearly demonstrate that animals are kept in their natural forests.

Another significant reason supporting my position is that animals are kept in zoos. In other words while old animals should kept in zoos. This can lead aged animals are kept in zoos for expirement , which is particularly important in today society. For instance if a lion become old so he canot hunt for survival so this types of animals should kept in zoos. Therefore it is evident that aged animals are capifable to hunt for their survival so old animals are kept in zoos for experiment.

In conclusion, I firmly disagree that no longer need to kept animals in zoos, so zoos should be closed. This is because aged animal cannot survive by their own and old animals are kept in zoos for experiment . For there reasons, I believe that aged animals are kept ibn zoos.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear disagreement in the introduction and conclusion, and you attempt to give reasons and examples. However, the response only minimally addresses the central question because the reasons are unclear and sometimes contradict one another. You say animals should live in their natural habitat, but then argue that old animals should be kept in zoos, without explaining how this supports keeping zoos open generally. The claim about animals being kept for “experiment” is also not developed or clearly connected to the question. The examples about lions losing hunting skills and older animals struggling to survive could be relevant, but their implications need to be explained accurately. To strengthen the response, present two clear reasons for your position and support each with a logical, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. You also use signposting such as “The primary reason,” “Another significant reason,” and “In conclusion.” However, the ideas do not progress clearly within the paragraphs: the second body paragraph shifts between keeping old animals in zoos, experimentation and their ability to hunt, ending with a claim that conflicts with the earlier point. Repeated statements such as “animals are kept in zoos” do not clarify the argument, and references such as “this types of animals” are difficult to follow. Build each paragraph around one distinct reason, then use linking phrases to show how the example supports it and how it answers the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reuse of “animals,” “zoos,” “kept” and “old.” Some topic-related words, including “natural habitat,” “dependent” and “survival,” are relevant, but several choices are inaccurate or unclear, such as “feeding by zoos members” and “kept in zoos for experiment.” Spelling errors—including “completly,” “thier,” “expirement” and “capifable”—also make the writing less clear. Aim to use a wider range of precise terms and check spelling carefully. For example, distinguish between animals being “housed” in a zoo and being “protected” or “rehabilitated,” and choose vocabulary that accurately expresses the intended reason for keeping them there.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and an example introduced by “For example.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “we no longer have animals are kept,” “animals should kept,” and “This can lead aged animals are kept,” where verb forms and sentence construction are faulty. There are also problems with articles, agreement and plurals, as in “if a lions” and “a lion become old.” Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly around introductory phrases such as “For example.” Practise forming complete clauses with accurate subject–verb patterns, and check each sentence for a clear subject, a correctly formed verb and appropriate articles.

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