Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Zoos are places where various animals are kept inside the cases. However, in my opinion, we should not case animals within the zoos beacuse they represent exploitative processes, economic gain over moral judgement and go aganist animal rights.

First of all, zoos should be banned since they are the embodiments of animal exploitation. Animals should be freed from human abuse and they should live in their respective habitats devoid of anthropocentric influence. When we as humans, due to our biasness, claim ourselves as the best creature of God's creation and thus capture animals, it destroys animals' freedom. Capturing animals is abusive since in the very process, animals are reduced to some mere unimportant beings, and their physical tortures are no longer taken into an account.

Then, all the zoos should be closed immediately because they are the soucres of some unethical economic systems. Animals have their own world and philosophically they deserve the rights to exist in this universe. They are compared to our relatives or neibourhoods living in the same planet that humans share. So logically, they deserve a sense of equality in regards to their right to live. However, when humans wound them and capture in the zoos to make money, it completely raises questions regarding moral judgement.

Finally, we should shut all the zoos as they utterly pose a threat to animal rights. Every living being in this world deserves an independent living. As an integral part of ecosystem, they must be given their due rights. When we keep animals in the zoos, we occasionally leave no room for them to move freely and eat and breed in their normal ways. Rather, we force them to act the ways humans want. This particular process is a threat to their basic natural rights. For example, sometimes humans give different types of vaccines to the captured lions so that they are disciplined enough, eventually destroying their normal ways.

In conclusion, zoos are some sorts of exploitative places where economic gain is considered over moral code of judgement, leaving animals to be abused, sacrificing their due rights to live on earth. Considering these aforementioned perspectives, zoos should be banned totally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you oppose keeping animals in zoos and support closing them. The three body paragraphs give relevant reasons—exploitation, profit taking priority over ethics, and restrictions on animals’ natural behaviour—so the response addresses the question. However, several points remain broad or are not convincingly explained. For instance, the claim that animals are “reduced to some mere unimportant beings” needs a clearer explanation of the harm, and the example about vaccines making lions “disciplined enough” is unclear and does not strongly support the point about natural rights. Develop fewer claims with specific, credible examples and explain how each one supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, each body paragraph presents a separate reason, and the conclusion restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Then,” and “Finally” help readers follow the argument. However, these transitions are somewhat mechanical, and some connections between sentences are not fully clear. For example, the comparison of animals to “our relatives or neibourhoods” does not clearly lead to the claim about equality, while “So logically” makes the reasoning sound asserted rather than demonstrated. Use more precise links between claims and explanations, and vary transitions by showing relationships such as cause, contrast, or consequence. Clearer referencing would also help readers track ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “animal exploitation,” “anthropocentric influence,” “moral judgement,” and “ecosystem.” These choices show ambition, but several are inaccurate, awkward, or misspelled, which limits precision: “inside the cases,” “biasness,” “soucr es,” and “neibourhoods” (spelling as written) are examples. Some phrases also sound unnatural, such as “economic systems” for the money-making aspect of zoos and “physical tortures” for harm to animals. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than adding formality for its own sake. A careful spelling check and choosing simpler, exact expressions would make your argument easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and longer complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “since,” “when,” and “so that.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main argument is generally understandable. However, there are recurring errors in sentence construction and grammatical patterns. For example, “we should not case animals within the zoos” has an incorrect verb construction, and “when humans wound them and capture in the zoos” lacks a clear object and has inconsistent structure. In “they deserve the rights to exist,” the article and plural pattern are not controlled. Review verb patterns, articles, and sentence boundaries, then proofread longer sentences to ensure each clause is complete and clearly connected.

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