Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

we no longer neend to put animals on cages at zoos for the entertainment of people so zoos should be close. i ma 100% agreed to this because it is inhumenity , just for the sake of entertainment or leisure we put animals on cages. animals are wild they made for forests not cities. forests are thirs homes just like our homes in cities.

For me it is cruelty to catch animals from thier places and send to the zoos for money.

animals have thier on lives , environment, families and neends.

according to my little amount of knowledge people mistreat the animals in zoos, througing things on them and make them teased. moreover some species of animals are not survive in such kind of environment. they are not habbitual of city's atmosphere.

on the other hand some have audacity to make them miserable like they went to the forest catch different animals and sale out them on high faurs they make it business.

moreover it is also not safe as i was a kid i heard the news that a wild black bear tire the baby boy as the family take a photo near the bear cage and he attacked the baby and hold his arm on the other side babys father pull the legs of his baby but bear tore him in front of his family.

once i listened about the snake news that ome of them is misses from the snake room and nobody knows about it. it is dangerous if one of them is misses from thier cages.

because if zoos the skin problem is also faced by many kids as my littel brother whenever visits the zoos it get itching on his body. because zoos have a different kinds of animals and there is a lack of cleanliness. the environment get polluted and causes many skin or health problems.

so in my opinion zoos should be closes for the safety and better life of both animals and humans.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the opening and conclusion: you believe zoos should close because captivity is cruel and can endanger both animals and people. You give several relevant reasons, including animals’ need for natural habitats, mistreatment by visitors, escape risks, and health concerns, and you include personal examples involving a bear and your brother. This addresses the task, but the reasons are not equally developed. The bear incident is described at length, while the claims about animal welfare and children’s health would benefit from clearer explanation and reliable, relevant support. To strengthen the response, explain how each example supports closing zoos, and acknowledge and answer a possible counterargument, such as zoos’ role in conservation or education.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable overall direction: it moves from animal welfare to safety and health, then restates your position. However, ideas are mostly presented as a sequence of separate points rather than developed in clearly organised paragraphs. Several sentences begin with “moreover,” and “on the other hand” introduces another supporting reason rather than a contrasting view, so the linking language does not always show the relationship between ideas accurately. The bear and snake examples also interrupt the flow because their relevance is not explicitly connected to your main argument. Group related points into paragraphs, use topic sentences, and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s central claim. This would make progression clearer and reduce the list-like effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “cruelty,” “environment,” “mistreat,” and “polluted,” and the reader can generally identify your main concerns. However, the range is often basic or repetitive, particularly around animals, cages, and safety, while inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “inhumenity,” “thiers,” “sale out,” and “audacity” where the intended meaning appears to be different. Aim to learn topic vocabulary in accurate phrases, such as “animal welfare,” “natural habitat,” and “wildlife conservation,” and check spelling and word choice carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you express your arguments without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You use mostly simple statements and make some attempts to connect ideas with clauses, for example, “because it is…” and “as the family take a photo…”. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to follow, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur throughout. For instance, “animals are wild they made for forests” joins two ideas without suitable punctuation and has an incorrect verb form; “some species of animals are not survive” also has an incorrect verb construction. The long account of the bear incident contains several clauses that need clearer sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses using correct forms such as “are not able to survive” and consistent past tense for past events.

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