Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary world, a considerably proportion of individuals suppose that we should not kept living creatures in zoos because zoos are not a natural home of animals. Zoos should be shut down. I firmly disagree from this statement, i will discuss the reasons in the following essay.

To begin with, zoos play a crucial role in the development of education. Many persons visit to zoos for analyze the animals lives, which is very useful information for thier academic progress. For example, when childeren read about the animals in the books they didn't develop the exect thinking about the beast. Therefore, they came to zoos and watch the animals live. As a result, they can easily understand the knowledge that they read on books.

Secondly, Zoos are the second secure habitat for some endanger species. They can easily breed thier and they also have medical facilities. For instance, When the number of pandas decline sharply, china zoos give a proper care to those living organisms in zoos. They give them food and medical treatment, which they need at thye moment. As a result, thier population grew again and they live in protected environment. In this era we are able to see them again in this world.

In conclusion, I would strongly argue that authorities build more zoos in the country. Beacuse it's very benifical for us and for animals, who face some serious trouble with thier growth. Moreover, students can easily comprehand about the animals when the see them especially in zoos.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction (“I firmly disagree”) and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address the question with two relevant reasons: zoos can support education and provide protected environments for endangered species. The examples about children observing animals and pandas receiving care help explain these points. This meets the task well, but the ideas are not equally developed: the educational benefit is explained mainly through textbook learning, while the panda example makes broad claims about population recovery without showing how zoos contributed. The conclusion also shifts to recommending that authorities build more zoos, a stronger claim than your reasons establish. To develop the response further, explain the limits or conditions of keeping animals in zoos and support each example more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and cause-and-effect links such as “As a result” help connect supporting details. This gives the response a coherent arrangement. However, the linking language is somewhat mechanical and repeated, particularly “As a result,” and some references are unclear: “they” in the panda paragraph could refer to the pandas or the zoos. The conclusion also introduces the idea of building more zoos rather than simply drawing together the two arguments. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make pronoun references explicit to strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “academic progress,” “endangered species,” “medical facilities,” and “protected environment,” which allows you to discuss both education and conservation. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “play a crucial role.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural: “a considerably proportion,” “visit to zoos for analyze,” and “the second secure habitat” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors such as “thier,” “childeren,” and “benifical” are noticeable, and some words are repeated rather than varied. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms; for example, use “a considerable proportion,” “visit zoos to study,” and “a safe alternative habitat.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause (“because zoos are not a natural home of animals”) and a relative clause (“animals, who face some serious trouble”). The main ideas are generally understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to process. Examples include “we should not kept” instead of a correctly formed verb phrase, “Many persons visit to zoos for analyze,” and “they can easily breed thier,” where the sentence structure and verb patterns are faulty. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “I firmly disagree from this statement, i will discuss.” Practise accurate verb patterns and clause construction, then proofread for capitalization and punctuation. More reliable complex sentences would improve clarity.

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