Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is said that zoos are not useful anymore, as a result, they ought to be shut down. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this notion. There are two reasons why I feel this way.

First of all, animals shouldn't be suffering for human being's pleasure. Zoos are designed to make people have fun by seeing various animals. Unfortunately, those animals are being kept there instead of living in wild nature. Animals can't say words, that's why we don't know how desperate they are. But still, we can tell that they do not want to live that way by judging the environment they are being housed. They seem to be exhausted and lonely. Even some of them have been seriously ill. This is because they haven't been treated well.

Secondly, zoo owners use animals as slaveries and make money using them. Some people and children love wandering around the zoos to meet different creatures. They pay for the enry taxes but most of the income are going to the owner's pockets. They seem not to take care of the animals enough, some cages look terribly dirty and need to be cleaned and fixed. Still, they do no repair them immediately for the animals' sakes.

On the other hand, it is great to explore and wonder how many different types of animals exist. We can see them thanks to zoos. As long as, animals are kept in high quality ways and treated very well, we people can be amazed by the magic of those creatures. However, in this world, it is far beyond.

In conclusion, animals cannot be used as people's pleasers. They have rights to live in wild nature naturally. As a consequence, it might be a right solution to close zoos and let animals live freely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction, and you maintain it in the conclusion: you argue that zoos should close because animals suffer and are exploited for profit. These are relevant reasons, and the paragraph acknowledging that zoos let people see different species shows you have considered an opposing point. This meets the task well overall. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. For example, the claims that animals are “exhausted and lonely” and that owners do not care for them enough would be more convincing with a specific example or explanation of how captivity harms them. The counterargument is also answered only briefly by saying conditions are “far beyond.” Develop this rebuttal and support your main claims more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a counterargument, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. This is a coherent arrangement, though some linking is mechanical and a few connections between ideas are unclear. In the second body paragraph, the move from visitors paying admission to owners keeping the income, then to dirty cages, needs a clearer explanation of how these points support the claim of exploitation. The phrase “As long as” also introduces a condition that is not smoothly connected to the following sentence. Use more precise references and explain the relationship between examples and claims to make progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including topic-related terms such as “cages,” “creatures,” “income,” and “treated.” There are also attempts at more expressive language, for example “the magic of those creatures.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “human being’s pleasure,” “wild nature,” “use animals as slaveries,” and “enry taxes” do not express the intended ideas naturally. “People’s pleasers” is also unclear, and “wonder how many different types” appears to mean learning about animal diversity. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall position, but they make parts of the argument harder to interpret. Build accuracy by learning common topic collocations and checking spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including subordinate clauses such as “as long as animals are kept…” and “This is because…”. Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “most of the income are going” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “As long as, animals…” has incorrect punctuation and clause construction. In “they do no repair them,” the verb form is incorrect, and “animals have rights to live” needs an article before “rights.” Sentence patterns are also often simple, so the range is not yet consistently controlled. Practise agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation in complex sentences, then proofread for these patterns.

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