Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Academic Practice Accelerator · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is sometime argue that kept animal in zoo is no longer necessary and all zoos should be closed.Although some might agree with this statement,I completely disagree with this notion not only because it is s source of entertainment but also because it also play a crucial part in education.

To begin with,one of the predominant reason that compelled me to disagree with this comment is that zoos are a source of entertainment.There are many places in Pakistan where families can spend a significant proportion of time together also with the low cost.Zoos are cheap and healthy source of entertainment.Nowadays,entertainment has become very expensive,like going to cinemas nad shopping malls.For example, on Eid and weekends, you can see a thousands of families enjoying picnics,taking photos and wathching elephants shows.This is speacillay important for children who lives in crowded cities and have no connection with nature. A zoo is both fun and refreshing.

Furthermore,another considerable reason supporting my view is that they are powerful source of education.In this modern age, people spend a lot of time on mobile phones and watching videos.Visiting a zoo gives them a chance to see real world animals in front of their eyes.For instance,when a children sees a lion or an elphnat in reality,ha can learn about its size,behaviour and diet in more effective way than just reading a book.Moreover,zoos inform visitors about endangered species and why it is important to protect them.

To conclude, zoos should not be closed because they provide boht education and entertainment to the public and also help in protecting endangered species.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I completely disagree”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You give two relevant reasons, entertainment and education, and support them with examples such as families visiting on Eid and children learning about animals. The point about endangered species adds a further relevant benefit. This meets the task well, but the development is uneven: the entertainment paragraph focuses mainly on affordability and family outings, while the educational paragraph explains more directly how a visit can teach children. To strengthen the response further, address the central issue of whether animals should be kept in captivity, perhaps acknowledging concerns about animal welfare and explaining why you believe zoos’ benefits outweigh them. This would make the argument more fully developed rather than relying mainly on general benefits to visitors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion that restates your view. The progression from entertainment to education is logical, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the argument. Examples are generally placed beside the points they support. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, particularly the repeated formula “reason … is that,” and the opening sentence of the first body paragraph is crowded with several ideas. Improve flow by varying how you introduce supporting points and by separating the claim, explanation, and example more clearly. More precise referencing—for example, making clear what “they” refers to in the education paragraph—would also make cohesion smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “source of entertainment,” “endangered species,” “behaviour,” and “protect them.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “predominant reason” and “considerable reason.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, and spelling errors are noticeable: “speacillay,” “wathching,” “elphnat,” and “boht.” Phrases such as “a source of entertainment” are repeated, while “healthy source of entertainment” does not express the intended idea naturally. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the argument, but they limit precision and fluency. Focus on accurate collocations, check spelling carefully, and use a wider range of natural expressions for describing zoos’ educational and recreational value.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “Although some might agree … I completely disagree” and the example introduced by “For instance.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “one of the predominant reason” needs a plural noun, and “a children sees” has mismatched article and number; “it also play” also needs subject–verb agreement. Some sentences are run together or lack spaces after punctuation, which affects readability. Work on checking each sentence’s subject and verb, singular and plural forms, and article use. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would help you retain your complex ideas while improving control.

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