Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

tourism has become increasingly prevalent in recent year, sparking debat about its different views, while some argue that developing industrial and economies create better opportunity around the word. other individuals believe that tourism causes a serious problems for local cultures and environment. I strongly think this matter due to the significants reasons. on the one hand, tourism broadens people's horizons. on the other hand, tourism opens up opportunity and support the locale économie.

furthermore, one of the most pivotal effects is that it broaden horizons. on the other word, visitors discover new cultures and new traditions moreover it assist in meeting other industrial from different background. for instance people try local food and attend traditional festivals.

additionally, tourism opens jobs opportunities this is mean, in any country hôtels and restaurant requires always staffs.

for example: hôtel need receptionist who know foreigne languages.

another notable reasons is thar tourisme assist in developing scientifics thinking, enhances knowledge and strengthen communication skills. this is contribute to growing développement. a good exemple for this is that tourism support small shop.

to sump up

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies tourism’s benefits, including broadening horizons and creating jobs, and gives examples such as trying local food and hiring hotel receptionists. However, the task asks whether you agree or disagree that tourism’s harm to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. You do not discuss environmental damage or explain whether cultural harm is ignored, and your position is unclear: “I strongly think this matter” does not state your view, while the essay mainly presents benefits. The response is also 71 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop relevant reasons and examples. To improve, state your degree of agreement clearly, address both cultural and environmental effects, and explain each point with specific support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise ideas using an opening, linking phrases such as “on the one hand” and “additionally,” and examples introduced with “for instance.” These signals show an effort to connect points. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the essay shifts between benefits without establishing a clear argument, and the contrast signalled by “on the other hand” does not introduce a contrasting view. Several ideas are placed together without clear sentence boundaries, as in “Additionally, tourism opens jobs opportunities this is mean…” The final phrase, “to sump up,” is incomplete and does not summarise the argument. Use one paragraph for each main point, connect each example directly to its claim, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “broadens people’s horizons,” “traditional festivals,” “receptionist,” and “communication skills.” These choices show an effort to discuss tourism beyond very basic terms. However, spelling and word-choice errors are frequent enough to distract the reader, for example “debat,” “locale,” “foreigne,” and “sump up.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “developing scientifics thinking” and “meeting other industrial.” The vocabulary range remains limited, and repeated use of “tourism” and “opportunity” does not help express precise ideas. Learn accurate collocations for the topic, such as “create employment,” “damage local ecosystems,” and “preserve cultural traditions,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentence patterns, including the opening contrast beginning “while some argue…” and the example introduced by “for instance.” However, most sentences rely on simple structures, and attempts to combine clauses often lack correct punctuation or grammatical links. For example, “tourism opens jobs opportunities this is mean” joins separate clauses incorrectly, while “hôtels and restaurant requires always staffs” has problems with agreement and sentence structure. There are also incomplete sentences, including the final “to sump up.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use full stops or conjunctions to separate and connect clauses accurately.

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