Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

fastest growing industries around the world is tourism which is one of the fastest industry.on the other prospective,environment and the local culture can cause of this due to damage tourism.i will hardly agree with this statement also i am going to discuss both situation in the following paragraph.

firstly,many people who have not proper job also they want to do something for their own and for family, it is the most easy way to earn money through to start a tourism company for different gender include families ,friends especially for solo boys and girls.Although,people can enjoy a lot by visiting new places.on the other hand,a person who is worried about their career they got a suitable way because start of interesting business.its a great deal to economies around the world.this is the only one fastest growing industry due to people prospective who have not their families in Pakistan and they have not opportunity to explore but they always supper excited to explore northern area . A huge amount of people who is searching about these companies who is safe for all generations due to the time period of tour. Many industries growing fastest in this way.

Secondly,environment and local culture is often ignored due to the damage tourism which is very negative impact on the economy . Some of the people who is going to explore nature and after visiting some beautiful and peaceful places they throw all the useless gadget around this area.which is very harmful for the health and beauty of pakistan.I am fully disagree in this situation. Most of the people is often ignored it which is very bad.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises both the economic benefits of tourism and its possible harm to the environment and local culture, and it gives a relevant example of visitors leaving rubbish in natural areas. However, the position is difficult to establish: “i will hardly agree” is unclear, and “I am fully disagree in this situation” appears to contradict it. Much of the first body paragraph discusses employment and starting tourism businesses, but these points are not clearly connected to the question of whether cultural and environmental damage is ignored. The environmental point is only briefly explained, while local culture receives almost no development. State your degree of agreement clearly, then support it with specific explanations and examples addressing both kinds of harm.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two body paragraphs, with “firstly” and “Secondly” signalling a sequence. The reader can identify a shift from economic benefits to environmental damage. However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first moves between jobs, tourism companies, solo travellers, Pakistan, and tour safety without showing how these ideas connect. Linking phrases such as “on the other hand” do not always introduce a clear contrast, and the conclusion is absent, leaving the argument unfinished. Build each paragraph around one main point, explain it in a logical order, and use clear references and transitions to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “economies,” “local culture,” “environment,” “explore,” and “harmful,” so the subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning hard to interpret. For example, “fastest industry” and “damage tourism” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “useless gadget” is unclear in the context of litter. Repeated use of “people,” “way,” and “very” also limits precision. Aim to use accurate phrases such as “tourism industry,” “environmental damage,” and “local traditions,” and choose specific terms for the effects you describe, such as littering or cultural disruption.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “who,” but control is very limited. Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes distort meaning. For instance, “environment and the local culture can cause of this” has an unclear grammatical relationship, and “A huge amount of people who is searching” contains faulty agreement and an incomplete construction. The opening also lacks capitalisation and sentence punctuation, while several ideas run together. Practise writing clear simple sentences first, then combine them accurately using subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, complete sentence structure, articles, and punctuation before adding more complex forms.

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