Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern era, tourism industry has been enhancing rapidly due to advancements of technology. Tourism is one of the most common growing industries and contributes a better deal to economies over the world. Nevertheless, the damage of local cultures and the environment are not often ignored . In this easy, I fully agree with this statement reasons for my inclination are articulated in the following paragraphs.

Commencing with the reasons of tourism industries are contributing more economies around the world because this can create more job opportunities for ordinary individuals. To explain, the majority of people who are suffering from unemployment that time this industries may create job for them. To cite an instance, in the UK travelling companies can create more job in ticket booking , tour guides and many other sectors.

Nevertheless, there are several causes growing tourism industries is that the environment problem most common because multiple people can stay at one place , they can use more public transport system. This can create more air pollution .To cite an example, in present, many people who are visiting red fort in Indian nation as a result, it can cause the environment just because this place is famous and over-crowed through the time. Another problem is that the local cultures threats sometime travelling people because they can easily change their culture tradition and customs.

In conclusion, there are several reasons why tourism industries is fastest growing because this can create employment opportunities for citizens. However, the damage tourism can cause such as weak cultures understanding as well as overloaded public transport system.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging the benefits and drawbacks of tourism. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the first body paragraph provides a clear reason for economic growth (job creation), the second paragraph is underdeveloped and confusing. The argument regarding environmental damage is muddled, and the point about 'weak cultures' is not clearly explained or supported with logical reasoning. The position is stated in the introduction, but the conclusion does not effectively synthesise the arguments, as it merely repeats the points without providing a final stance. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear idea supported by specific, logical examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'Nevertheless, there are several causes growing tourism industries is that...' is grammatically awkward and fails to link the ideas logically. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'To cite an instance' and 'In conclusion', the overall progression of ideas lacks the necessary sophistication for a higher band. More varied and accurate transition signals are needed to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'industries', 'tourism', and 'create'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'contributes a better deal' (should be 'significant contribution') and 'weak cultures understanding'. There are also instances of incorrect collocation, such as 'travelling people' instead of 'tourists'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but accuracy is a significant issue. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'tourism industry has been enhancing', 'damage... are not often ignored'), article usage, and sentence construction. Many sentences are fragmented or contain awkward phrasing that occasionally impedes readability, such as 'in present, many people who are visiting red fort in Indian nation as a result, it can cause the environment'. These persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and sentence structure basics.

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