Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Tourism is widely regarded as one of the fastest growing industries in the world. Although tourism contributes significantly to the financial aspects of the country, it also causes damages to the local culture and the environment.

After the industrial revolution and the technological advancement, people started to travel globally more often. Previously, it was considered that, traveling around the world is for wealthy people. But now that barrier is lifted, people are freely traveling from one country to another. It enables people for more business, education and environment opportunities.

Both domestic and international traveling have gained vast popularity. Ironically, traveling has some downsides too. It vastly encourages people for both inward and outward migration. By introducing foreign cultures to our society, it hampers our own cultures like disrespecting elderly, not listening to parents etc. Another important factor is that, it increases populations in tourist hotspots. This population imbalance causes traffic jam, pollution and the local biodiversity.

Government should be aware of these situations and take actions accordingly. They should maintain strict rules through law enforcement. In contrast, local businesses can apply for the government subsidy so that they can contribute to the economy as well. Overall, a strict boundary should be maintained on what to do and what not to do.

In conclusion, traveling itself is a novel work. It enriches our knowledge, provides opportunity for learning new cultures and their people. But responsibilities should be maintained properly by both the host country and the tourist for maintaining a sustainable relationship.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging both the economic benefits and the negative impacts of tourism. However, the position is not fully developed. While you mention that tourism hampers culture, the examples provided, such as 'disrespecting elderly', are somewhat superficial and lack depth. The discussion on environmental damage is also brief, mentioning 'traffic jam' and 'pollution' without explaining how these specifically relate to the cultural or environmental degradation mentioned in the prompt. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed arguments and specific examples to support your claims, ensuring that the 'extent' of your agreement or disagreement is clearly articulated throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Although', 'In contrast', and 'In conclusion', to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly abrupt, such as the shift between the second and third paragraphs. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, the phrase 'it hampers our own cultures' follows a sentence about migration, but the connection between migration and specific cultural behaviors like 'not listening to parents' is not logically explained. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'technological advancement', 'biodiversity', and 'sustainable relationship'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'novel work' is not an appropriate way to describe traveling, and 'environment opportunities' is vague and unnatural. You also rely on some repetitive phrasing. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. For instance, instead of saying 'causes damages', use 'inflicts damage' or 'exerts a negative impact'. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary will help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'it enables people for more business' (should be 'enables people to pursue more business opportunities') and 'causes traffic jam, pollution and the local biodiversity' (the verb 'causes' does not fit 'biodiversity' in this context). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor errors, such as unnecessary commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures will also help elevate your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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