Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

introduction:

tourism is the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal in the economy of a country but it can also damage the environment and local culture.

tourism from all over the world visit another country and paid for it during buying visa , tickets accomudation, which improves countries economy . but tourism also can create negetive impact on local culture and environment .

Reason :

some Tourism comes to visit for enjoyment they do not follow the rules and create disturbance in the local culture . when they visit in the park and during relaxment they eat anything and throw empty boltles in the park . when people are wearing their traditional dress but tourism wears their traditional dress then it create a traditional gap which can cause culture disturbance .

example :

Last year aftar my annual exams , i visited faysal mosque Islamabad with my family . i saw a family comes from china for visiting pakistan.

theire was a little stall of papri chat . their child find these things for the very first time and they are eating so fastly my little brother was looking at them and ask why they are eating like this .

on another incident we were meet again at shakar perhiya which is the most beautiful place of the pakistan , there was a clean and everything in this place was shinning including front to backward area i was taking pictures with my family for memories . their child was walk and enjoying lays with joice , after eating , children throw rapper and joice bottle on this beautiful place . it was really a disappointing behavior .

conclution:

we cant's stop tourism because it is important for economy but tou

rism should maintain discipline and create a positive image because you are only responsible for your behavior and attitude .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt partially, acknowledging both the economic benefits of tourism and its negative impacts on local culture and the environment. However, the position is not always clearly sustained, and the ideas presented are somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the writer attempts to explain how tourists create a cultural disturbance by wearing traditional dresses, but this argument lacks clarity and sufficient extension. The examples provided, such as the personal anecdote about visiting the Faysal Mosque and encountering tourists littering, are relevant to the topic of environmental damage, but they are anecdotal and lack the broader generalization typically required for a fully developed academic task. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to ensure all ideas are thoroughly explored with more generalized, well-reasoned arguments rather than relying solely on specific personal narratives.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some basic organization with headings like 'Reason', 'example', and 'conclution', but this structure feels fragmented rather than acting as a cohesive essay. There is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the layout disrupts the natural flow of an academic text. Cohesive devices are largely inadequate or repetitive, with mechanical transitions used between paragraphs. Paragraphing is not used sufficiently or appropriately, as the response is broken into many short, isolated lines instead of unified body paragraphs. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it sometimes difficult for the reader to follow the exact logical sequence of the arguments. To improve, the writer should organize the text into standard, well-developed paragraphs with smoother, more varied transitional phrases to connect ideas logically from the introduction through to the conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message of the prompt. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items such as 'contributes a great deal', 'traditional gap', and 'disappointing behavior', but these attempts are often marred by inaccurate word choice or collocation, such as 'tourism' used instead of 'tourists' and 'relaxment' instead of 'relaxation'. There are also noticeable spelling errors throughout the text, including 'accomudation', 'negetive', 'boltles', 'aftar', 'theire', 'fastly', 'rappper', and 'conclution'. These lexical errors and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth reading. To reach the next level, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary, use words with greater precision, and pay much closer attention to word forms and correct spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside a few attempts at complex ones. These attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with verb forms and tenses, such as 'tourism comes to visit', 'they are eating so fastly', and 'children throw rapper', as well as frequent problems with subject-verb agreement and article usage. Punctuation is also weak, marked by missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences, incorrect spacing around punctuation marks, and run-on sentences. To achieve a higher band, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures while significantly improving control over basic grammatical rules, punctuation, and tense consistency.

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