Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this period of technology many people are growing industries of tourism while the other local culture and environment being ignored because of damage tourism. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this notion and my optinion will he discussed in further paragraphs with a sustainable conclusion.

Supporting many agreement to the given statement, I firmly believe that fastest growing industries of tourism. For instance, Today so many tourisms comes from different countries and explore different things like culture, environment, food and so on because they are experiencing different things and enjoy themselves.It benefits the economy.

Explaining some of another supporting points in favour this statement, it is true that the another heritage and atmosphere travel tour is neglected due to deterioration exploration. however, Some people don't like it to explore in front of anyone. It destroys their peace and they can't live in natural resources.

As a result, i would perfer growth of travel agencies in various countries gets great benefits.Moreover, for your inner peace don't destroy anyone peace.

In conclusion, improved exploring things to get benefits and it assist for different financial problem.I believe that aforementioned points are strongly supporting my view point.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear position—“I strongly agree”—and refer to both economic benefits and harm to local culture and the environment, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is very limited and does not explain the extent of the damage or develop reasons with specific examples. For instance, “It destroys their peace” does not clarify who is affected or how tourism causes this harm, while the economic benefit is only briefly mentioned. The conclusion also shifts towards supporting travel agencies without resolving the tension in your argument. The response is 55 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop the main points. To improve, explain two clear effects and support each with a relevant example, while maintaining a consistent position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, and some linking expressions—such as “For instance,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion”—show an attempt to guide the reader. However, the progression between ideas is difficult to follow because several sentences do not clearly connect to the point being made. For example, “Some people don't like it to explore in front of anyone” is unclear in relation to tourism’s effects, and the final body paragraph introduces travel agencies and inner peace without explaining their connection. Some transitions also sound formulaic rather than showing a precise relationship between ideas. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer references and more purposeful linking would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “industries of tourism,” “local culture,” “environment,” “heritage” and “financial problem.” This gives the response some topic-specific language, but word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, which makes several ideas hard to understand. For example, “many people are growing industries of tourism” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “deterioration exploration” is not a clear description of tourism’s impact. There are also spelling and form errors, such as “optinion” and “perfer,” alongside repeated general words such as “things” and “benefits.” Build a more reliable range by learning common topic collocations, such as “tourism industry,” “damage to cultural heritage” and “pressure on natural resources,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “because” and a concluding sentence with “I believe that…”. However, control of sentence structure is inconsistent, and errors often make the intended meaning difficult to identify. In the opening, “many people are growing industries of tourism while the other local culture and environment being ignored” lacks a clear grammatical structure; the second clause also needs a finite verb. Other examples include “so many tourisms comes,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “the another heritage,” where the article pattern is incorrect. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “however, Some people” and “i would.” Practise building complete subject–verb clauses and checking agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

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