Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent years, more people have chosen tourism bussiness, and growing industries and contributes deal to economics during the periods. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment , i firmly disagree with this view. Because i believe tourism is one of the most helpfull industry for the tourists. Although, it has some detrimental affect. This essay will examine the main reason why i disagree with this view.

One major advantage is that tourism helps people to find their actual destination, food and culture. Sometimes people do not have that much time to research about eveything, they can not explore diversity of foods, locations and so on.Furthermore, they might have some issues as a new tourist.So, tourism can help an individuals if he or she is alone, they do not need to know everything about the place.For example, if a person have two days only for her or his vacations, the might be not able to seach all kind of places, may be they do not have any idea about it, which food will be good or not. while it disturbs some of the local people, as tourists can not explore the whole view of a culture, or it just has a boundry for tourists.Some local inhabitants find it disturbing for the tourists.

Another benefit is that, a torist can lead a good vacation through the tourism, they make sure the safety of a tourist.Although, it created some issues for local and tourists persons. Tourism braket the wider range of culture and environment which a tourists should not be ignore, however i think safety is the first priority for a tourist.

In conclusion, tourism may have some cause by contrast, it has many good side for tourists. On the other hand, it has some perticuler benefits that a toutists often taken.Although the cause can not be ignored, i will defenitely support tourism.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“i firmly disagree”—and give reasons related to tourists’ access to destinations, food, culture, and safety. These points are relevant to tourism’s benefits, but the response does not adequately address the central concern in the prompt: whether tourism’s damage to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. The environmental impact is mentioned briefly, without a specific explanation or example, and the discussion of cultural effects is unclear. Your position also shifts: you acknowledge harm but do not explain why it should be outweighed or why it is ignored. Develop a direct argument about both cultural and environmental costs, support it with a concrete example, and connect each paragraph clearly to your degree of agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and phrases such as “One major advantage” and “Another benefit” signal the intended structure. However, the ideas within paragraphs do not progress clearly. The first body paragraph moves from finding destinations and food to limited time, cultural boundaries, and local residents, without explaining how these points connect. The second paragraph introduces safety but then shifts abruptly to culture and the environment. Linking words such as “Although” and “On the other hand” are sometimes used where the relationship between ideas is unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it in a logical sequence, and use pronouns and transitions that make the connections explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “detrimental,” “diversity,” “local inhabitants,” and “safety,” and the reader can generally identify that you are discussing tourism. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make meaning difficult to follow, such as “tourism bussiness,” “tourism braket the wider range,” and “a toutists often taken.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “actual destination” and “good side.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use vocabulary that directly describes the task’s issues, such as environmental pressure, cultural disruption, and local communities. Proofread spelling and word forms, and avoid repeating broad terms like “benefit” without specifying what the benefit is.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “if,” but control is inconsistent and errors frequently make sentences hard to interpret. For example, “more people have chosen tourism bussiness, and growing industries and contributes deal” has unclear clause structure and agreement, while “if a person have two days” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Several sentences are fragments or are joined incorrectly, as in “Because i believe tourism is one of the most helpfull industry.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also unreliable, particularly the repeated lowercase “i” and missing spaces after full stops. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement, articles, and punctuation before adding subordinate clauses.

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