Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Tourism is one of the fastest and growing industries and also contributes a great deal to raise economies around the World,this is areality those countries who have unique culture,historical places and natural beauties are at the top ranking countries for the tourism and these countries are imroving their trades and economy by promoting trourism department,through social media advertisment such places are becoming most attractive for tourists it looks like these scense calling peole over the world and people are moving towards to see them closely specially the natural beautries ,mountains water falls and historical placaes.Such activities promote a strong social ,cultural and behavioral relationship among people and is increasing the income and becoming a modern business now a days,Tourism is a healthy activity that provide soothing relaxation to mind and body and also a source of getting information and improving knowledge.through visiting from one place to an other we usualy develop a sense of freedome ,but if the tourism deparment is going to be damage also damaging the local culture and environment.I would like to share an example of "Mouju Darho" a historical place is in the sindh pakistan a 5000 years old historical city was buried uder earth and discovered in 1980 but the govornment of pakitan did not pay much attetion to keep it maiantained so the tourism are only local peole and rare people know about this place,because or less resources and non-cooperative behavior of its govt.while egyptian's Paramids are famous all over the world and the country increasing economy by promoting it through providing maximum facilities ,security and publicity through social media and research.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response is relevant to tourism and recognises both its economic benefits and possible harm to culture and the environment. However, the question asks how far you agree or disagree that tourism’s damage is often ignored, and your position on that claim is not clearly stated or sustained. Most of the essay describes tourism’s attractions and benefits; the final sentence introduces damage but does not explain what harm occurs or why it is ignored. The examples of Mohenjo-daro and the Egyptian pyramids are relevant to tourism, but they mainly compare promotion and maintenance rather than support a clear argument about cultural or environmental damage. State your degree of agreement in the introduction, then develop reasons and examples that directly address the claim.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable movement from tourism’s benefits to examples of historical sites, and the examples give the response some overall direction. However, ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the opening becomes a very long sequence of points joined by commas. This makes it difficult to see which ideas are central and how they relate to one another. Connections such as “but if” signal a contrast, yet the response does not follow through by explaining the damage. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for your main arguments, and a conclusion. Use linking phrases to show relationships between developed ideas, rather than relying on a continuous chain of statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “historical places,” “natural beauties,” “social, cultural and behavioral relationship,” and “publicity.” This shows an effort to discuss tourism beyond very basic terms. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “raise economies,” “trourism department,” and “scense calling peole.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “the tourism are only local people,” which obscures the intended meaning. Build accuracy alongside range: check spelling carefully and learn common collocations such as “boost the economy,” “attract tourists,” and “preserve a heritage site.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect ideas using clauses and conjunctions, as in “but if the tourism deparment is going to be damage,” and includes some longer sentence patterns. However, these attempts are often faulty, and many sentences run together without clear punctuation. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in phrases such as “activities … is increasing” and “a healthy activity that provide”; articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistently controlled. These problems sometimes make the intended relationships between ideas unclear. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately using subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and full stops before adding further complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.