Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, There are many countries which main economy comes from tourist but on other hand natives are complains raither touriest are very impotant for that nation budget mean while they damige natives culture and suroundings, I stronly agree with this notion.

In some countres like UAE their major part of earning comes from visiters from auther nations, they do not controll everything like some visiters are use to of alcohal drinking but UAE are muslim country, for the foreign UAE open culbs and forget the their moral values. That is not only in UAE, many other muslim countries also follow it just for improving their budget.

In some countries like UK, France and other countries where students when from Asia they all jsut follow their rolles like if any fastival came they all comes to road and make enjoyment as like their own countries. Musilm eid's celebrations, Hindus and Chinies as well, these all are habitcuil for this and make problems for that nation they do never such type of activits so that is why all others nation avoid the

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a clear position in the opening, stating that you “strongly agree,” and your examples attempt to connect tourism with cultural change, such as the opening of clubs in the UAE and visitors’ public celebrations in other countries. However, the response only partially addresses the question: the environmental damage mentioned in the prompt is not discussed, and the cultural examples are asserted rather than explained with specific consequences. The final sentence is unfinished, so the argument has no conclusion. The response is also 70 words below the required minimum, which leaves little room to develop your reasons. To improve, address both culture and the environment, explain how tourism causes each type of harm, and complete the essay with a concise conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction and separate example paragraphs, and phrases such as “In some countries” signal a shift in focus. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, and the links between claims are not made clear. For example, the paragraph about the UAE moves from visitors’ drinking habits to clubs and then to national moral values without explaining each connection. The final paragraph ends abruptly at “avoid the,” leaving the reader without a completed point or conclusion. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each example explicitly to your position, and add a clear concluding paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economy,” “budget,” “culture,” and “surroundings,” so the general subject is identifiable. However, the range is limited and many spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make the message harder to understand, including “touriest,” “damige,” “suroundings,” and “habitcuil.” Some expressions are also unclear or unnatural, such as “natives are complains” and “follow their rolles.” Aim to use accurate, familiar topic vocabulary before attempting more ambitious phrasing. Check spelling carefully and choose precise terms for the effects you mean, such as local customs, environmental damage, and pressure on public spaces.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “In some countries like UAE their major part of earning comes from visiters from auther nations.” However, sentence structures are frequently faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries often obscure the intended meaning. Examples include “natives are complains,” “UAE are muslim country,” and “they all comes to road.” The opening also joins several separate ideas with commas, making it difficult to identify the main clause. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clear conjunctions. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, articles before singular countable nouns, and ending each complete sentence with appropriate punctuation.

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