Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, tourism has become widely debated issue. It is often argued that tourism boostest busniess and financial stronger around the world, while it can harmfull to traditional culture and atmosphere which is most people not point out. I completely argee with this openion that cause disappear local culture and trafic congestion which disastrous our environment.

First of all, several countries survive on their local market by tourists so which benefits for people and government but their significant disadvantages people always talk foreign language and also follow other culture. As a result their cultural heritage decline for few decades. Moreover, many countries people imitated other countries clothes so that majority of the people comparism which affected culture. For example, Indonesia follow multi-pile cuture due to this their main depent on tourism.

In addintion, when tourist visited new countries first thing that how their transpotation system was but when country authorities constructed urdan area to invented bridge full concrete which has effect to climate change. Consequently they aare often face over heated unnpredictable weather mainly urdan area people face disease main because of heavy traffic their gave hight carbon emission which can not good for humaan body. Furthermore, more tourist visit can garbage and poeple are avoid to plan also other species their part of the world. For intance, In Singapore in the world very advance technology used their government balance atmosphere planting road side tree which beautiful to see.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that if we are concern about our natural that will be better outcome represent green vellay. Therefore, country authorities take some action to create strick rules organized beautiful city.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that tourism can damage local culture and the environment. You address both areas, referring to cultural change, traffic, emissions and waste, and you include examples such as Indonesia and Singapore. However, the response only partially develops the task: the economic benefit mentioned in the introduction is not weighed against the harms, and several claims are difficult to follow or insufficiently explained. For instance, the Indonesia example does not clearly show how tourism causes cultural loss, while the Singapore example shifts towards tree planting without explaining the scale of tourism’s environmental damage. Develop each main point with a clear cause-and-effect explanation and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. You also use linking expressions such as “First of all,” “Moreover,” “In addition” and “Consequently” to signal relationships between points. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear connections. For example, the discussion moves from transport systems to concrete bridges, climate change, disease and carbon emissions in one sequence, without explaining how each point relates to the next. Some references, such as “their” and “that,” are unclear, and the conclusion introduces “green valley” without linking it to the earlier argument. Organise each paragraph around one main idea and use clearer links between explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “cultural heritage,” “traffic congestion,” “carbon emission” and “unpredictable weather.” These choices show an effort to discuss both cultural and environmental effects. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts of the argument difficult to understand, such as “financial stronger,” “multi-pile cuture” and “their gave hight carbon emission.” Some words are also used imprecisely, including “atmosphere” where you appear to mean the natural environment. Build a reliable set of topic-specific phrases and check spelling and collocations. Prefer clear, accurate wording over ambitious expressions that do not convey a precise meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures with “As a result” and “Consequently,” and a conditional sentence in the conclusion. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement and articles frequently make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “tourism boostest” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “it can harmfull” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase. The sentence beginning “when tourist visited new countries” also shifts awkwardly between tenses and does not form a clear question or statement. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check articles, plural forms and verb tense, and divide long sentences when their relationships become unclear.

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