Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries, as the year goes Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economic around the world.

Firstly, I disagreed on the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and environment is often ignored. For the fact the stakeholders and professionals are yet to find solutions to these, doesn't mean they ignored it.

However, as a tourist have been to some tourist destination like olumo rock, osun osogbo sacred and the other. Before we were allowed into the destination itself, the tour guide and historian that rules and regulations that guide each destination, for instance in osun osogbo, there are some sacred places in the attraction that strangers must not step, we shouldn't stop anything except where to do so.

In addition, the problem can't be eradicated completely, it can only be control or reduce. If the government or professional have seen a way to eradicate these issues, I believed they will introduce it.

There's nothing that have disadvantages and doesn't have advantages, they both walk together.

In conclusion, tourism have several benefits advantages, it doesn't contribute only to economic, it also does socially too. It creates employment opportunities hospitality sector like hotels, restaurants, transportation, inns, guesthouses, eatery, motel and so on. It generates jobs in tourism attractions like museums, parks and gardens and others.

Tourism also generates revenue for the local communities and government, it brings development to their local communities like building of modern hotels, restaurant. It also serves as eyes opener to the local people, for example, mode of dressing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your response takes a position against the claim that tourism-related harm is ignored, and the Osun Osogbo example gives some relevant support by describing rules that protect sacred places. However, the task asks how far you agree or disagree with the idea that damage to cultures and the environment is often ignored; the discussion focuses mainly on cultural rules and tourism’s economic benefits, with little about environmental damage or evidence that harm is not ignored. Several points, such as the claim that problems cannot be eradicated, are asserted rather than explained. The response is also 12 words below the required 250-word minimum. To develop the answer, address both cultural and environmental effects and explain your position with specific examples and reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

You use paragraphs and basic signposting such as “Firstly,” “However,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion,” so the reader can identify some stages of the response. Nevertheless, ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression: the opening is unclear, the paragraph beginning “Firstly” does not clearly connect its claim to the next example, and the conclusion introduces a long list of benefits rather than drawing together the argument about ignored damage. Some links are also difficult to follow, as in “For the fact the stakeholders…” and “There's nothing that have disadvantages…”. Organise the essay around a clear position, then develop one main point per paragraph with an explanation and example. Use linking expressions only where they show a genuine relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “stakeholders,” “sacred places,” “tourist destination,” “employment opportunities,” and “local communities.” These terms help communicate the subject, and the examples show an attempt to use vocabulary beyond very basic language. However, the range is uneven and several choices or combinations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “economic” where a noun is needed, “tourism attractions,” and “benefits advantages.” Repeated lists of facilities also take the place of more precise language about cultural and environmental impacts. Build a bank of accurate topic collocations and check word forms; for example, describe tourism’s “economic contribution” and the “protection of cultural heritage.” This would make your meaning clearer and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “If the government or professional have seen a way…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “as a tourist have been” lacks a clear subject, “the tour guide and historian that rules and regulations” is not a complete grammatical construction, and “tourism have” should agree with its singular subject. There are also problems with plural and article use in phrases such as “the other” and “a tourist destination.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and articles. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to understand.

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