Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Vacationing is one of the increasingly developing industries and additionly a better deal to economics around the globe. Moreover, the damage tourism can affect to coomon cultures and the atmosphere is often ignored.

I strongly agree with this notion and i will explain the logical ideas in the forthcoming paragraph.

To commence with, touring is best way to improve economy of country. In foriegn there are many places to entertain and also there are many kinds of things to amuse and enjoy there. In pakistan there are places like kaghan,nathiagali, and swat famous for touring. To demonstrate with, if we have enough rapidly moving industries to develop soo many sights around the globe. Pakistan economy is not good beacuse we have enough fund to spend. There are few travel vacation to go for amusement.

On the other hand, the atmosphere is also has a great impact on travel. when the trip places are damaging and in under construction it gave a big impact not only on our economic condition but also on our culture. Our culture provide the concept of cleanliness at every place specially eccurtion. To explain with, the university of greenwhich explain that in Pakistan trip area are just need to improve. In other countries such as japan, china, and canada did very usefull implements on thier touring sights. In india is also in the race of developing new sights for entertainment and amusement.

I strongly beleived that pakistan have to made rapid implements to travel industry and also government need to provide a lot of funds.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I strongly agree”—and refer to both economic benefits and possible effects on culture and the environment. However, the response only partially answers the question because it focuses largely on tourism’s economic potential and the need to develop travel facilities, rather than explaining how tourism damages local cultures or the environment and why that damage is ignored. The examples about Pakistani destinations and other countries are not clearly connected to your argument, and the claim that the University of Greenwich explains that Pakistani tourist areas “just need to improve” is not developed or supported. To strengthen the response, explain specific harms, such as litter, pressure on natural sites, or changes to local customs, and show how these support your stated position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To commence with” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding statement. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the first body paragraph shifts from tourism’s economic benefits to unclear claims about Pakistan’s funds, while the second moves among environmental damage, cleanliness, a university, and international comparisons without showing how the points connect. Linking phrases such as “To demonstrate with” and “To explain with” are repetitive and do not clarify the relationships between ideas. Organise each paragraph around one clear point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “economy,” “culture,” “environment,” “industries,” and “entertainment,” so the subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, as in “additionly a better deal to economics,” “common cultures,” and “rapid implements.” Some spellings are also noticeably inaccurate, including “foriegn,” “beacuse,” and “beleived.” These issues sometimes strain the reader’s effort to understand your intended point. Build a more precise set of phrases for this topic and check spelling carefully. Prefer familiar, accurate expressions such as “contribute to the economy,” “local communities,” and “improve tourist facilities” over ambitious but unclear combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns and attempt some longer structures, for example, “when the trip places are damaging and in under construction it gave a big impact…” However, these attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation can make the message difficult to follow. Examples include “the atmosphere is also has,” “Our culture provide,” and “Pakistan have to made.” Capitalisation and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “when” after a full stop and the long opening sentence. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “although,” or “which.” Check that subjects and verbs agree and that each sentence has a clear main clause.

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