Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In my perspective i greatly agree with the statement. The sold reaseon behind this reality is that, the people who are living in the local areas mostly affected. the local community especially the people living in the mountains area totally dependent on the tourisim. e.g in the summer the people move towards the nothrens areas to sent the quality of time in cold and fresh environment. the people also welcom to the trvelers, and may be happy to see them. it is because their businesses run by the tourest.in contrast ,if there any damage occured in the filed of tourism, the peple have to face the worst economical cosequences.The environment is also deeply concerned with the tourism. we and can't ignore it. it is the environment who catches the people toward the specific area. Moreover we can elaborate thie situations by the example for the better understanding, the kumrat vally inthe upper dir is specail sot for the tourist. if the government ban the people for any posible reason so that don't have the permission to enter in kumrat vally. the local of kumrat which have dependent on the business will lost everything.Additionally, another example of the recent monal resturents. The government gives the order for the destruction of infrastructure. the people were not happy with grovernment decisions, because many visitor come across the country at this mountain vally resturent spot. Therefore, the tourism play the role of back bone in the economic perspective of any country, state, or local area. It is necessary, to suppport the tourism and prevent it from the damaging. In conclusion, the tourism is really benifical for the local people, it promotes the local culture and boost the local economy. the damaging of tourisim can effect the revenue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear at the start: you “greatly agree,” and you return to the importance of tourism in the conclusion. You also offer relevant examples, including Kumrat Valley and the Monal restaurants, to show how tourism supports local livelihoods. However, the response only partially addresses the question because it focuses mainly on economic benefits and the consequences of restricting tourism, rather than explaining how tourism damages local cultures and the environment, or weighing those harms against its benefits. The environmental point—“the environment is also deeply concerned with the tourism”—is not developed with a specific impact. To strengthen the response, explain concrete harms, such as pollution, habitat loss, or pressure on local customs, and make clear how these support your degree of agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an identifiable overall direction: you state your view, give examples, and end with a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Additionally,” and “Therefore” help signal relationships between points. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the main argument, examples, and conclusion. Some connections are also unclear or mechanical: “we and can't ignore it” does not clearly link to the preceding environmental claim, and the shift from Kumrat Valley to the Monal restaurants is abrupt. Organise the essay into separate paragraphs and give each one a clear focus. Use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas, and explain how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “local community,” “economic consequences,” “infrastructure,” and “revenue.” These choices show an effort to discuss tourism and its effects, but the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “tourisim,” “nothrens areas,” and “specail sot.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “sent the quality of time” and “the environment who catches the people” do not convey your intended meaning clearly. Aim to use accurate, familiar collocations before trying more elaborate phrasing. Proofread spelling carefully, and choose precise terms for the effects you discuss—for example, “attracts visitors” or “supports local livelihoods”—so your ideas are easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because” and “if,” and you use some simple statements to express your position. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently and sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “if there any damage occured” lacks a correctly formed clause, while “the tourism play the role” has a subject–verb agreement error. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the run-on sequence beginning “in contrast.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a correctly formed supporting clause, then check verb agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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