Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes, it is rite tourism is one of the fastest growing and a contributes a good deal in the econmies around the world. but the damage tourism can cause to local culures and the environment is ignored. in the some points i am agree but some points not. first of all in the century tourism is a big industries some country only depend on tourism for example nepal and other small country. l live in pakistan in our country norther part is femes for beautiful mountings and greenes. in part people big depend on tourism in the summer or winter. in the summer any people from in country and outer of country people visit and in this time the booking is full and every caffee is full of people. this is a big binfeisting of our country. in the world any of country is full notv depend on tourism. on the other side damage of environment i am agree because most of people visit a one place he not beautiful on the other. most people goning on the higest mounties and any places damge on the place he did not care about is place and go some raper on this. in this places trafice is big problme did not avablibe not placrs on parkings and people car park on the rode side and traffic is gam. and the other is big problem is publie tranisport is big changell becouse government did not not support. and govt did not creat a police who many cars inter in the citys. in the winter thousands of cars inter in the city this is not good form lociel people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the economic benefits of tourism and its effects on the environment, and your examples from Pakistan’s northern areas make the response relevant. The discussion of tourism supporting local businesses and filling cafés gives a clear benefit, while traffic and damage to mountain locations illustrate costs. However, the position is not consistently clear: “in the some points i am agree but some points not” does not explain the extent of your agreement, and the response does not clearly weigh the benefits against the harms. Several points are introduced but not fully explained, such as how tourism damages local culture. State your position directly in the introduction and develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence of ideas: you first describe tourism’s economic value, then turn to environmental and transport problems using “on the other side.” This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph, so the main points are not clearly separated. Connections between ideas are often abrupt, and repeated use of “and” or “in this time” does not show how examples relate to the central argument. For instance, the discussion moves from mountain damage to parking, traffic, public transport, and government policy without clear transitions. Use separate paragraphs for benefits and harms, and organise each around one main idea with a clear topic sentence and supporting explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “tourism,” “environment,” “booking,” “traffic,” and “public transport,” and the examples show an attempt to discuss local economic and environmental effects. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “femes,” “mountings,” “binfeisting,” and “raper.” Some phrases are also unclear or unnatural, including “people big depend on tourism” and “traffic is gam.” These errors sometimes strain the reader’s effort to interpret your meaning. Build a bank of accurate topic collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe residents as “reliant on tourism” and refer to “traffic congestion” rather than using unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences rely on simple structures, and attempts to connect longer ideas often become difficult to follow. Errors in sentence formation and verb patterns are frequent, as in “in the some points i am agree” and “most of people visit a one place he not beautiful on the other.” Articles, agreement, and tense are also inconsistent; for example, “some country only depend” does not match the plural subject, and “government did not creat” uses an incorrect verb form. Capitalisation and punctuation are often missing, which makes sentence boundaries unclear. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate clauses. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and past-tense forms, and use full stops to separate each point.

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