Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the perceived danger and actual likelihood of being a victim of crime.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Perceived and actual likelihood of being a victim of crime: by crime type

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar graphs demonstates the data on trying out for danger and factually attempted of become a witness of various three crimes which are burglary, car crime and violent crime. These shows clear data for specific time from 2009/10 and 2010/11 as diffrent time line.

Overall, it is clearly observed that, in both individual time did not happen actual crime and for their victims. despite to reality threat, all three illigality perceive dobius danger for being an evidence off crime. Especially in car crime.

burglary, in 2009/10 it perscived above fifteen per cents and 2 or 3 % less than in 2010/11 . While less then five percent had happend actuuly like wise same in 2010/11.

Furthermore, care crime placed first in comparison of other two crimes. it rose approximately 7% and 3% subsequently in perceivearnce. Whereas actully happend under 5% in both years.

Moreover, violent crime and burglary remain same in dobious likelihood of being a victim of crime in both years. and real crime had almost done in same ratio in individual years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address the prompt by summarising the data regarding perceived danger and actual likelihood of crime across three categories for the years 2009/10 and 2010/11. However, the response falls short of fully satisfying the task requirements due to significant misinterpretations of the visual data. For instance, the text claims that 'in both individual time did not happen actual crime,' which contradicts the figures shown on the graph, and the descriptions of percentages for burglary and car crime are inaccurate and confusing. Furthermore, the overall selection of main features is poorly executed, lacking a clear, accurate overview of the key comparisons. Ideas are underdeveloped and heavily obscured by language errors, leading to a Band 4.5 level of task achievement, which aligns closely with Band 5 descriptors for partial coverage and unclear positions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into short paragraphs, including a brief introduction and an overall summary statement, followed by body paragraphs dedicated to specific crime types. However, there is a distinct lack of clear progression, and the logical flow is severely disrupted by confusing phrasing and incorrect referencing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as the abrupt transitions in phrases like 'Furthermore, care crime placed first' and 'Moreover, violent crime and burglary remain same'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion fails frequently due to poor sentence construction. Overall, the organizational structure is difficult to follow, reflecting the characteristics of Band 4 organisation where information is not arranged coherently, though some paragraphing structure saves it from the lowest score.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, highly repetitive, and frequently incorrect. The student attempts less common items but misuses them entirely, resulting in non-standard phrases and severe word-choice errors that frequently impede communication. Examples include 'demonstates the data on trying out for danger', 'factually attempted of become a witness', 'all three illigality perceive dobius danger', and 'perceivearnce'. Words are misspelled and misused to the extent that the exact meaning is often obscured. This falls squarely into the Band 4 descriptor, where basic vocabulary is misused and errors continually strain the reader's comprehension.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed simple and complex sentences that fail to convey meaning accurately. There is a near-complete absence of error-free sentences. Frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, word forms, and sentence structure abound, such as 'The bar graphs demonstates', 'These shows clear data', and 'real crime had almost done in same ratio'. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic. These persistent, dense errors cause substantial difficulty for the reader and severely distort the intended meaning, matching the criteria for Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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