Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the perceived danger and actual likelihood of being a victim of crime.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Perceived and actual likelihood of being a victim of crime: by crime type

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart, illustrates about the proportion of numerous victims which were perceived, likelihood victims of crime

Overall, it represents three crimes in which it illustrates the numerous victims which were perceived, livelihood of being a victim of crime from 2009 to 2011.

In bar chart, the most victims which were perceived in 2009 to 2010 was in Car crime, and its proportion was about 22%, but its proportion still remain more than any other crimes, but its proportion declined to 17% in 2010 to 2011, and than the real livelihood victims in Car crime was round about 4.75% from 2009 to 2010, and than decline by a negotiable proportion, but still remain same 4.75% from 2010 to 2011.

In case of Burglary and violent crime the proportion of perceived victims were same of 15% from 2009 to 2010, but in Burglary the perceived victims were declined more than the violent crime and its proportion was about 13% in case of Burglary, and in case of violent crime its proportion was about 14% from 2010 to 2011.

Now, regarding to livelihood victims the proportion of violent victim was always more than the Burglary in every dual year means from 2009 to 2010, and than from 2010 to 2011, and in both dual years there was a same 2% difference.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to summarise the information presented in the bar chart regarding perceived and actual crime likelihoods, but it suffers from severe misinterpretations and confusing terminology. For instance, the student refers to data points as 'numerous victims which were perceived' and 'real livelihood victims', which obscures the actual meaning of the chart comparing perceived danger versus actual likelihood. While the main features such as car crime being the highest perceived and violent crime having a higher actual rate than burglary are mentioned, the descriptions are heavily confused and lack clear, accurate data reporting. Furthermore, comparisons are muddled by repetitive and awkward phrasing, resulting in an inadequate overview of the visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The text is organized into paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive and mechanical cohesive devices. The student relies heavily on awkward connectors like 'and than', 'in case of', and 'now, regarding to', which impede the flow of reading. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which year or crime category is being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences often breaks down due to run-on structures and confusing structural transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

Lexical range is very limited and repetitive. The student repeatedly uses incorrect terminology, such as 'livelihood victims' instead of 'actual likelihood' or 'actual victims', and 'numerous victims which were perceived' instead of 'perceived danger'. Word choice is frequently unnatural or inappropriate for an academic task, leading to noticeable errors that cause difficulty for the reader and distort meaning in places.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The writing exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on long, convoluted run-on sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions like 'and'. There are frequent and severe grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('its proportion still remain'), incorrect prepositions ('in bar chart'), and awkward tense usage. Punctuation is also poorly managed, contributing to sentences that lack clarity and make comprehension challenging.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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