Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given bar chart illustrates the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016.
The first category is petroleum products, in 2015, the export earning from petroleum products is 60 billion dollars whereas in 2016, the cost is 65 dollars billion ions.
The second category is engineered goods in 2015, the expenditure made on engineered goods is 60 billion dollars whereas in 2016 the cost of engineered goods is 65 billion dollars
The third category is gems and jewellery, in 2015, the expenditure made on gems and jewellery is $ 50 billion ions. whereas 2016 the amount is $ 45 billion ions.
The fourth category is agricultural products, in 2015, $35 - 40 billion ions amount is spent on agricultural products whereas in 2016, the count of agricultural products in 2016 is $ 41- 42 billion ions.
The fifth category is textiles in 2015, the amount of money spent on textiles is 30- 35 billion ions whereas in 2016, the expenditure made on textiles is 40-45 billion ions
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to provide an overview of the data, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. Instead, it lists data points category by category without identifying trends or making meaningful comparisons. Furthermore, the prompt asks for the percentage change, which is completely ignored in the text. The data presentation is also problematic; the student uses ranges (e.g., '35-40 billion') rather than reporting the specific figures provided in the table. The inclusion of the term 'billion ions' is a persistent error that misrepresents the units. To improve, you must include an introductory overview of the main trends and explicitly calculate or describe the percentage changes as requested.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical structure. While there is an attempt to group information by category, the lack of an introduction, a clear overview, and a concluding summary makes the progression of ideas disjointed. Cohesive devices are extremely limited and repetitive, relying almost exclusively on 'whereas' to connect clauses. Paragraphing is inconsistent, with some paragraphs containing only one sentence and others being poorly defined. To improve, use a clear four-paragraph structure: introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on specific trends or comparisons, using a wider variety of linking words like 'in contrast', 'similarly', or 'consequently'.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, with the same phrases ('the amount of money spent on', 'the expenditure made on') used throughout. The term 'billion ions' is used incorrectly as a unit of measurement, which significantly impacts the accuracy of the information. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'witnessed a significant increase'). To improve, focus on using precise terminology for data reporting and avoid repeating the same sentence structures. You should also ensure that units of measurement are used correctly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The grammatical range is limited, consisting mostly of simple, repetitive sentence structures. There are frequent errors in punctuation, such as missing commas and incorrect spacing around symbols (e.g., '$ 50'). The use of 'ions' as a suffix for 'billion' is a persistent error that suggests a misunderstanding of the data. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of complex sentence structures and the repetitive nature of the syntax prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on varying sentence length and structure, and ensure correct punctuation and terminology.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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