Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many societies the postion of the women changed as campare to the past 50 years but now societies cannot agree to have achieved gender equality so in my opnion women is very important part of the world this world is start by the women first of all women have great role to extend the breed like a man so now days women are working like the mans in every field and every where so we dont say that the women are less participate in every field of life women working in every field as same like the mans they are working hard the help us in every type of need women have a great hand on every great things so in my opnion i agree with it thats the women have there postion equals to the mans in every societies.

First of all in breeding womens have same important role like a man but in this processes women is passing through the much pain or hard time than a man so when the women become a mother she take care of his son, people say that the childs first school is its mothers arms so a mother teach his sons and tell us every things which his son face in the future he teach him how to speak how to walk how to read so in the beginging of every living things life his mother or women has a great role in it.

And the second is that people think the womens are less participates in every events or fields of life so if we see in the offices women are hardworking as a mans if we see in the hospitals we see a great numbers of lady doctors or nurses or many other women a serving there as a man but now there a more numbers of womes are working than the man so if we see in rural area womens are working in the fields with their husaband or father as like a man doing hard work in the field so a women in every palace do all these things that a man doing in every palace so a women plays a great role i apreciate this.

In conclusion i say that or i agree with that peoples in many societies dosent agree with the gender equality but in my opnion womens performs a great role in every field or in everyones life if the women is a doctor,police,in law etc,or if a women is a mother a sisiter or if a women is performing anything womens doing there responsibilities in a great way so due to these hard working and due to the laws and women tell every one about there importances in this way WOMENS CHANGE THEIR POSTIONS AND PLAYING GREAT ROLE IN EVERY THINGS that give the womens honor so as campare to the past women now living there life freely with their own prespectives so i agree with this and i apreciate with this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You express a position—“I agree”—and include relevant examples from family life, hospitals, offices, and rural work. These show awareness that women contribute in different settings. However, the response does not fully address the question’s central distinction: it asks whether societies have achieved gender equality, while much of your essay argues that women are important and work hard. Those points do not establish whether equal rights and opportunities exist. Your conclusion also shifts between saying women’s position is equal and acknowledging that societies do not agree on equality. Develop a clearer argument about continuing inequalities, such as unequal pay or representation, and explain how your examples support your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group related examples: motherhood first, then work in public and rural settings. This gives the reader a basic structure. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because many ideas are joined in long chains with repeated “so,” “if we see,” and “first of all.” The relationship between examples and the claim about equality is also not always clear. For instance, the discussion of mothers teaching children does not explain how it demonstrates gender equality in society. Use shorter, focused sentences, give each paragraph one main point, and use linking phrases to show contrast or cause rather than repeating the same connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “gender equality,” “responsibilities,” “rural area,” and “lady doctors or nurses,” and you attempt to discuss several social roles. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “great role,” “every field,” and “hard work.” Several word choices or forms make meaning unclear, such as “extend the breed,” “less participate,” and “women tell every one about there importances.” Spelling errors, including “postion,” “opnion,” and “prespectives,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check collocations: for example, discuss women’s “contribution to society” and “access to equal opportunities,” rather than repeating general claims about their importance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses with “when,” “if,” and “so,” and you include some simple statements that communicate your general meaning. However, sentence structures are very limited in control, and errors are frequent enough to make several passages difficult to interpret. Examples include “women is very important part,” “she take care of his son,” and “a women plays a great role,” where agreement, articles, and pronouns are not controlled. Long sentences joined by “so” also lack clear boundaries and punctuation. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them selectively. Check subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, articles, and pronoun consistency, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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