Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is widely acknowledged that changed position of women has become an increasingly contentious issue in contemporary society. I competely believe that the position of women has changed a great way in education and emplyment over the past 50 years. This essay will critically examine the issue before reaching a balanced conclusion.

To commence with, one compelling justification for this issue is that women's position has changed in education. This is largely attributed that a lot of women can now have access to higher education. Women can study subjects that were dominated by men in the past. As a result, it is reasonable to infer that it can give career opportunities to women which ultimately fosters a positive outcome. For example, nowadays, women are educated and this gives them better career opportunities. Many countries now have women working in higher positions this gives women a financial freedom. A pertinent example is that nowadays, most of the women are becoming doctors, engineers and teachers.

Another pivotal consideration is women haven't achieved gender equality because women are not getting equal pays instead of working at similar jobs. For example, in many companies leadership positions are still occupied by men. Women are expected to manage household activities and children which limited their career opportunities. For example, if a woman does full-time job she still has take care of her children and family. This shows that women haven't achieved equal rights. Men are still dominated over women in some aspects.

To sum up, although differing viewpoints persist the position of women has changed over the past 50 years but they still didn't achieve gender equality. I completely agree with this statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that women’s status has improved but gender equality has not been achieved. You address both sides of this contrast, using education and employment as evidence of progress and unequal pay, leadership representation, and domestic responsibilities as continuing barriers. These points are relevant, but some are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that women’s education “gives them better career opportunities” is repeated in the example about women becoming doctors, engineers, and teachers, without showing how this demonstrates broader change. Likewise, the unequal-pay point would be stronger with a specific explanation or example. Develop each main idea with clearer reasoning and evidence to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting progress and remaining inequality, and a conclusion that restates your view. Paragraphs generally have identifiable central topics, and phrases such as “As a result” and “To sum up” help signal relationships. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “For example,” and the progression within the first body paragraph is not always smooth: education, career opportunities, financial freedom, and occupations are listed without a clear distinction between the points. The sentence about leadership positions also runs into the following idea without effective punctuation. Use a wider range of natural links and make each paragraph’s reasoning progress step by step.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “gender equality,” “higher education,” “leadership positions,” and “career opportunities.” Some attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “a compelling justification” and “a pivotal consideration,” show awareness of academic style. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “changed a great way” is not a natural expression, “equal pays” should be expressed differently, and “emplyment” and “competenly” are misspelled. Phrases such as “Men are still dominated over women” also do not convey the intended relationship naturally. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations rather than adding formal-sounding phrases, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “which” and “because,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “This is largely attributed that” needs a different clause pattern, while “she still has take care” is missing a verb form. In “Women are expected to manage household activities and children which limited their career opportunities,” the relative clause and tense do not fit smoothly. There are also sentence-boundary problems, as in “higher positions this gives women a financial freedom.” Work on accurate clause construction, verb forms, articles, and punctuation, especially when joining two complete ideas. Greater control of these patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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