Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This is true that the position of women is high in last five years but today women get higher education in socities and working on office, banks and many company at good post but the sallary of women is low then men and this is not a good.

I am not satisfy the company holders should first perriorty to women because they are working in office and they are working in home.and the women faced many problems in education and some women are workin at top levels such as CEO, judge or political.the main resion is the reality bleives on men. The safity is a big issue for women in many socityes the women canot walk alone at night because the family issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify relevant signs of change, including women gaining higher education and reaching roles such as CEO, judge, or politician, and you point to unequal salaries and safety concerns as evidence that equality has not been achieved. However, the response only minimally addresses the question: your position is not clearly stated as agreement or disagreement, and the ideas are listed rather than explained with reasons or examples. The statement that companies should give women “first priority” is also not connected clearly to your overall view. The response is below the required 250 words, which limits how fully you can develop the argument. State your position directly, then explain and support two or three relevant points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to group related points: the opening mentions education, employment, and pay, while the next paragraph raises workplace responsibilities and safety. This gives the reader some sense of the topic. However, the response does not develop a clear progression from your position to supporting reasons and a conclusion. Connections between ideas are often unclear, as in “I am not satisfy the company holders should first perriorty to women,” and the shift from women’s work at home to safety is abrupt. Use a clear paragraph plan, with one main idea in each paragraph, and connect each example explicitly to your argument. A concluding sentence would also help bring the response together.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “higher education,” “salary,” “CEO,” “judge,” and “political,” so the reader can identify the main subject. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “the reality bleives on men” and “the safity is a big issue.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “the position of women is high” and “working on office.” Build a more accurate set of expressions for discussing equality, employment, and safety, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain your ideas rather than simply naming the issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express several connected ideas in sentences, and the reader can understand the general topic. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries make the meaning unclear in places. For example, “women get higher education … and working on office” does not maintain a consistent verb structure, while “the women faced many problems” shifts tense without a clear reason. The sentence beginning “I am not satisfy” also lacks a clear grammatical connection between its clauses. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then join related ideas with conjunctions. Check subject–verb agreement and keep verb tense consistent.

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