Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate about the position of women over the past 50 years in many societies and wether these societies can claim to have achieved gender equality or not. I think that these societies cannot claim that they have fully achieved gender equality even if the position of women changed in the past years.

The argument, that the role of women changed over the last 50 years is ture. Especially in modern and western societies. For instance, women can have their own job and the society, especially young people, changed their view of a woman as a housewife. As a result women have more rights and have a higher self-determination. In general, the work of women find more voice and a higher value in the society.

Nevertheless, woman are still not treated equally compare to men. For example, in many societies where the role of women has changed, there is still a gender pay gap. As a result, women earn less than men even in the same job and position. Additiona to that, many men and elderly people argue, that women should stay at home while their husban earns money. This can leade to an enorm presure for a young woman who wants to work and build an career.

Overall, I agree that societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality, even if the position of women has changed in the past 50 years. Because, to claim the achievement of gender equality, the position of women and men should be equal in every point and not just in some points.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: societies have improved women’s position but have not fully achieved equality. You address both sides of this contrast, using women’s employment and changing attitudes as evidence of progress, then the pay gap and pressure to remain at home as reasons equality is incomplete. These are relevant points, and the conclusion returns to your view. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that women’s work has “more voice and a higher value” is unclear, and the pay-gap example would be stronger with a specific illustration or explanation of its effects. The response covers the task well overall, but the support and development are uneven; clearer explanation of these points would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on progress, a contrasting paragraph on continuing inequality, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “As a result,” “Nevertheless,” and “Overall” help readers follow the argument. The contrast between the second and third paragraphs is especially easy to identify. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or the relationship between ideas is not fully clear. For example, “As a result” introduces the claim that women have more rights, but the cause-and-effect link could be explained more precisely. The final sentence begins with “Because,” leaving the conclusion grammatically and logically dependent on the preceding sentence. More varied transitions and clearer links between claims and explanations would strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “gender equality,” “gender pay gap,” “self-determination,” and “housewife.” These terms help communicate the main ideas, and the reader can generally understand your meaning. There are also attempts at more precise phrasing, such as “build an career” and “enorm presure,” though spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy. Some expressions are awkward or unclear: “the work of women find more voice” does not naturally express the intended idea, and “in every point” is not idiomatic in this context. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; using phrases such as “women’s contributions receive greater recognition” would make your argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some more complex forms, including the concession in “even if the position of women changed” and the relative clause “who wants to work and build an career.” The main argument remains understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “the work of women find,” the plural form in “woman are still,” and the comparative construction “not treated equally compare to men.” The conclusion’s opening “Because” also creates a sentence fragment, while “the position of women and men should be equal” needs a clearer grammatical relationship. These errors do not generally prevent understanding, but they limit accuracy. Practise checking agreement, complete sentence structure, and comparative patterns while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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