Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is no denying the fact that the position of womenhas changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. While it is a commonly held belief that societies didn't achieved a gender equality, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that there is no doubt that societies cannot claim to have achieved the gender equality.

To begin with, it is clear that women has changed a great deal in many societies. In other words, their value has raised over this last years due to the development of education the last generations. In addition, gouvernments considered women like an indisponsible categorie in the society by giving them so many rights that they didn't have before too many years. For example, we can find women working in so many fields like education, healthcare, magasins...

Another point to consider, societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. It is also possible to say that we can't say that man are equal with women in different fields of life. Moreover, There are so many things women can't do or we can say it is better to the man to do it rather then women. For instance, there is no way for women to work in construction fields in other words we can't find women working in fields that requires power of man.

In conclusion, despite people having different views, i believe that it is fair for women to be different with man i mean we cannot clam to achieve gender equality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a position that gender equality has not been achieved, and you give relevant points about women’s education, rights, employment, and physically demanding work. However, the discussion is brief and several claims are unclear or unsupported: for example, “there is no way for women to work in construction” is an overgeneralisation and does not explain the wider barriers to equality. The introduction also presents an opposing view without developing it, while the conclusion shifts toward saying it is fair for women to be different from men, which weakens your position. The response is 228 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 29 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop your reasons with specific examples and keep your position consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Your response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and phrases such as “To begin with,” “Another point to consider,” and “In conclusion” signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited: ideas are often asserted rather than connected or explained, and the second body paragraph moves from equality to whether men and women are suited to particular work without clarifying the link. Some transitions are mechanical, and “In other words” is used where the following sentence does not clearly restate the previous point. The conclusion also does not follow cleanly from the earlier argument. Build each paragraph around one clear claim, explain its relevance, and use linking expressions only when the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “gender equality,” “education,” “rights,” and “different fields.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “commonly held belief” and “indisputable,” but several word choices, collocations, and spellings are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “their value has raised,” “indispensable category,” and “power of man”; “magasins” is also an incorrect spelling in English. Repetition of “women,” “societies,” and “different” limits variety. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “women’s status has improved,” “an essential part of society,” and “physical strength,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including the opening contrast with “While” and the clause beginning “despite,” alongside simpler statements. However, errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns and in the more complex attempts, and they sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. For example, “women has changed” has subject–verb disagreement, “societies didn't achieved” uses an incorrect verb form, and “man are equal with women” has agreement and sentence-pattern problems. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a gender equality” and “the last generations.” Capitalisation and punctuation need attention, including the lowercase “i” and “Moreover” after a comma. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.