Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The importance of women empowerment was always debatable but now has become more controversial with many people claiming that women now are enjoying equality in the society with men but however others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has now sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion the farmer proposition is more rational. In this essay I will further elaborate my views for favouring this trend and thus will leads to a more logical conclusion.

By analysing and further explaning, the first and foremost important thing is that the women nowadays are participating equally as men in almost every field of work. Another important factor to be consider is that there are also many such fileds exists now in which work cant be donr without women , however some men dont give equall opportunities to women. But women are performing excellent in excessive rates at many platforms including nursing, teaching, oine trading and many more.

Despite of all the achievements of women in every phase of life, some societies still not considered women equall to them. In this era women are the important pillar of society in many extends. I strongly agree with this trend that women are playing a crucial part in every development of our society and they are strongly working in every department rather than behaving week .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response takes a position, stating that women have gained important roles while gender equality has not been achieved, and it gives relevant examples such as nursing and teaching. However, the argument only partially addresses the question: the opening refers to whether women enjoy equality, but the position is then described as favouring “the farmer proposition,” which is unclear, and the conclusion does not clearly resolve the extent of agreement. Most claims are broad and unsupported; for example, the statement that women participate equally in almost every field is not reconciled with the later point that some men deny them equal opportunities. The response is also 20 words below the required minimum. Develop specific reasons and examples, and state your degree of agreement consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Another important factor” and “Despite of all the achievements” show an effort to connect ideas. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph claims women participate equally, while the next says they are still not considered equal, without explaining how these points fit together. Several transitions sound formulaic, and references such as “this trend” and “the farmer proposition” do not clearly identify the idea being discussed. The conclusion largely repeats general claims rather than drawing the argument together. Use a clear paragraph plan, with each paragraph developing one reason and explicit links between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “equality,” “opportunities,” “achievements,” and “crucial part,” and it tries to use more formal expressions such as “substantial influence.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “the farmer proposition,” “excessive rates,” and “in many extends”; spelling errors such as “explaning,” “fileds,” and “equall” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases, including “important pillar of society,” are understandable but not developed precisely. Build a reliable set of expressions for discussing equal pay, representation, discrimination and access to opportunities, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “but” and a sentence beginning “Despite of all the achievements.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to follow. For example, “will leads” has an incorrect verb form, “some societies still not considered” lacks an appropriate auxiliary, and “the women nowadays are participating equally as men” is not accurately constructed. The opening sentence also combines several clauses without clear control. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and use shorter sentences when a longer structure becomes difficult to manage; then proofread for verb forms and agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.