Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, women are become more presented in many facilities regarding over the prior 50 years, but that cause lowering men opportunities and having chance in many societies , which make me extremly disagree with this point.

First of all, we have all noticed that many companies are prefering to hire women than men , however women cannot carry out the same performance as the men do , like there are a lot of cases that require leading , as we know men are the best in this.especially when it comes to communication they are a little bit worst to talk with costumers or anyone can meet their jobs.

We mostly acknowledge that many occupations need a power staffs which the majority of women couldn't afford that.

Many societies had some requirements, one of them the is the experience, women cannot reach this type especially when they are not able to go outdoors for a work while have many duties at home, which enable them to gain some practical skills that allow them to be qualify to get jobs.

Ultimately, i consider that women are not the best choice to depend on than men in order to develop or master our facilities becaise that can return with negative outcomes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a clear position, stating that you “extremly disagree,” and your response stays broadly focused on women’s employment and opportunities. However, the argument does not adequately address the central claim about whether societies have achieved gender equality: it mainly argues that men are better suited to jobs, rather than examining equality across society or acknowledging changes in women’s position. Claims such as women being unable to perform as well or gain experience are asserted without relevant examples or support. The response also falls 42 words short of the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and substantiate your ideas. To strengthen the response, address both sides of the statement and develop each reason with a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an opening position, supporting paragraphs and a concluding statement. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all” and “Ultimately” help signal the stages of the response. However, the overall progression is limited: the paragraphs repeat the general claim that women are less suitable for work rather than building distinct, connected reasons. Some links are unclear, particularly the long sentence beginning “Many societies had some requirements,” where the relationship between home duties, experience and job suitability is difficult to follow. Punctuation and spacing also interrupt the flow. Plan one main point per paragraph, explain how it supports your position, and use clear references and transitions to connect the reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to employment and society, including “occupations,” “practical skills,” “requirements” and “negative outcomes.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand. For example, “more presented in many facilities” does not clearly express increased representation in workplaces, and “a power staffs” is not a natural way to describe jobs requiring physical strength. There are also spelling errors such as “extremly,” “prefering” and “becaise.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. Using terms such as “workforce representation,” “physical strength” and “career experience” would help express your ideas more clearly and appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “which,” and the reader can generally identify your main position. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “women are become,” “many companies are prefering,” and “which make me,” where verb forms or agreement are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also problematic: the sentence beginning “First of all” runs together several ideas, while “in this.especially” has an incorrect full stop and capitalization. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries, then build longer sentences only when you can control their structure.

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