Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, women position have excelled in many fields over the time period of 50 years. However, many people failed to treat men and women equally. The essay agrees with the statement beacause men still get more offers at higher authority level and wage rate for men tend to be higher in most countries.

One of the reasons that women are not treated equally as of men is that most of the job that are at executive level are occupied by men than women. Many companies still have a gender discrimination policies of only hiring men as their staff member by just saying that they are easy to work with. However, women are doing wonders in every field including technology and science. For example, there are very few companies that offers the position of CEO to women including many famous companies that we get to encounter on daily basis.

Other reason of women being not treated equally with man is that men get to have more pay than women in some countries till to this date. Similarly men and women doing equal efforts and work in every field but tend to get less paid as compred to men. For example in South Korea, men get paid more than women because women are offered job that are not at senority level hence making their wages far less than men. In most countries women tend to be at ordinary job positions no matter of their skills.

In conclusion, women are excelling in every field by showing remarkable discoveries but despite that they are not treated equally because they are offered job at ordinary level with very ordinary wages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and you support this with two relevant areas—access to senior roles and differences in pay. The examples about women’s limited representation as CEOs and the South Korean pay gap help connect your reasons to the question. However, the discussion is not equally developed: the first paragraph makes broad claims about companies hiring men without explaining how widespread this is, while the second gives a more specific example but does not fully distinguish unequal pay for equal work from women’s concentration in lower-level jobs. To strengthen the response, explain these points more precisely and develop how they demonstrate continuing inequality, rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. This logical arrangement makes the argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “One of the reasons,” “For example,” and “In conclusion,” and the second body paragraph begins with a clear transition to the pay issue. To make the progression more fluent, reduce formulaic transitions and connect examples more explicitly to the claims they support. Some links are also unclear, particularly the shift from women’s skills to the claim that few companies offer them CEO positions. More precise referencing and smoother links between explanation and evidence would make cohesion less noticeable and more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “gender discrimination,” “executive level,” “wages,” and “remarkable discoveries,” so the reader can understand the main argument. There are also attempts to use more specific language, such as “position of CEO.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “women position have excelled,” “more offers at higher authority level,” and “ordinary job positions.” Spelling errors such as “beacause,” “compred,” and “senority” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, describe women’s “career opportunities” or “representation in senior roles” rather than using unclear formulations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “companies that offers the position of CEO” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “women position have excelled” has problems with the possessive and subject–verb agreement, while “most of the job that are” has number-agreement errors. The sentence beginning “Similarly men and women doing equal efforts” is missing a finite verb, and “women are offered job” needs an article or plural form. Work on agreement, articles, and complete clause structure, then proofread each sentence to ensure that its subject and verb match.

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