Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The situation of women has experienced a great change in many societies since the past 50 years. Although, these societies aren’t able to claim achieved gender equality. Women empowerment has increased day by day and now they are considered as capable as men. I strongly disagree with the point that societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality.

To commence with, increasing globalisation and development has increased the growth of women welfare. There are several reason that society can claim that they have achieved equality. Firstly, in past times, jobs were designated according to men, which today has decreased and women are given equal right for the job. Secondly, in olden days, women’s were considered to kept between four walls of house and they were not allowed to do jobs. This norms and orthodox thinking has changed now. For example, in today’s modern era there is an equal job opportunities for men and women. furthermore, government is also encouraging women empowerment and building their responsibilities in armed forces.

Moreover, ladies in today’s world are more educated and professionally forward than many men. Therefore, it leads to more number of women in every field and profession. Thus, societies can claim the gender equality has achieved in today’s time compared to 50 years back. For instance, numbers of women in every profession can be kept as a proof, females who have achieved their goals and got selected for IAS or IPS and armed forces can be kept in mind for society to see women empowerment and encouragement.

In a nutshell, I firmly believe that position of women has changed over the years and society can claim its achievement. Seeing the achievements of females and position of women in society and nation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that societies cannot claim gender equality, and you give relevant reasons, including women’s access to jobs, education, and professions such as the armed forces and public service. However, the response addresses the issue only partially because it mainly lists signs of progress without examining whether these amount to equality today. For example, the claim that women are “more educated and professionally forward than many men” is not explained or supported, and the examples do not show how equal opportunities compare in practice. The conclusion also ends as an incomplete thought. To strengthen the response, develop a more balanced argument with specific evidence and explain the limits, if any, of the progress described.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Moreover” help signal the order of points. However, progression is limited because several ideas repeat the same claim that women now participate in more fields, rather than building a distinct line of reasoning. Some links are mechanical or unclear: “Thus, societies can claim the gender equality has achieved” does not clearly connect the examples to the conclusion. The final sentence, “Seeing the achievements of females and position of women in society and nation,” is incomplete, which weakens the ending. Organise each paragraph around one developed point and use clearer references between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “globalisation,” “women empowerment,” “orthodox thinking,” and “armed forces,” so the reader can follow the general subject. There are also attempts to express change over time, such as “in olden days” and “in today’s modern era.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision. Phrases such as “growth of women welfare,” “professionally forward,” and “building their responsibilities” do not express the intended ideas naturally. “Women empowerment” is repeated where more specific terms could describe participation, rights, or representation. Choose conventional collocations and vary the vocabulary so that your argument sounds more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “Although, these societies aren’t able to claim achieved gender equality” and a cause-and-effect link beginning “Therefore.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “There are several reason,” “women’s were considered to kept,” and “there is an equal job opportunities.” The opening “Although” clause is also not correctly connected to a main clause, while the final sentence is incomplete. Work on subject–verb agreement, articles, plural forms, and complete clause structure. Aim first for accurate, complete sentences, then add more varied complex forms.

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