Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

an observation has been made that in current scenario,women also need freedom and thier individuality. To curb this issue, some individuals believe that there is a great change in numerous societies over the past years. but some people think that they do not achieve gender equality. I disagree with this statement.

there is a numorous reasons why they achieve gender equality. women have equal opportunity to receive education. they have equal opportunities in many activities which is about study or about sports. to explain it there is a same platform in every school they feel safe and comfort and there is no discrimination they are lots of job opportunities women can work in different fields like sports computer applications and many other every woman is financially independent women can earn money and sports their families they have enough freedom to do whatever they want.

similarly other are the perceptions that there is a gender inquality women are sometimes paid less than men which means the unequal salaries. the justify that there is a what place did criminations that of opportunities and given may face heart meant and crimination at the same time

government Government and society should take for this step to provide equal rights and opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I disagree with this statement”—and give relevant points about education, employment, financial independence, unequal pay and discrimination. However, the response only partially addresses the question: it does not explain clearly why these examples prove that gender equality has been achieved, and the later reference to unequal salaries and discrimination points in the opposite direction without resolving your position. Several claims, such as women having “enough freedom,” are asserted rather than supported with a specific example or explanation. The response is also 43 words below the required minimum, leaving limited space to develop your reasoning. To strengthen the answer, clarify the extent of your disagreement and explain how each example supports it, while acknowledging remaining inequalities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction gives your view, a main paragraph presents reasons, and “similarly” introduces a contrasting point before a brief recommendation. These signals help the reader recognise some relationships between ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because several points are crowded into one long paragraph, and the contrast between claiming equality and describing unequal pay is not clearly connected to your position. The sentence beginning “the justify that there is a what place…” is especially hard to interpret, while the final recommendation appears abruptly. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and counterpoint, and connect each idea with clear, accurate transitions and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “gender equality,” “equal opportunity,” “financially independent,” “unequal salaries,” and “discrimination.” This shows an attempt to discuss the issue beyond very general terms. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make meaning unclear, such as “thier individuality,” “sports their families,” and “heart meant.” Repetition of “equal opportunities” and “women” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling and word forms; for example, use “support their families” and “workplace discrimination.” More precise terms such as “pay gap” and “access to employment” would help express your ideas clearly without relying on repeated general phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and attempts a few longer structures, such as “women can work in different fields like…” and “women are sometimes paid less than men, which means…”. However, sentence boundaries and punctuation are often uncontrolled: the long sequence beginning “they have equal opportunities” joins many separate ideas without full stops, and the opening begins with a lowercase letter. There are also frequent problems with articles, agreement and sentence construction, as in “there is a numorous reasons” and “there is a same platform.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise building complete sentences with one main idea each, then check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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