Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Even though the position of women in many societies has seen numerous changes over the past five decades, most of these societies still cannot claim to have gender equality. I personally believe that gender equality is a notion in developpement and not many countries in the world can claim that they’ve achieved it.

Women are now a leading power in many fields such as education, science and even the business world but there’s a noticeable gap in the number of women in high positions in those fields, whereas men seem to be always in a position of power even in sectors that are female dominated. One of the many reasons for these problems is the fact that women are still seen as less competent than men and that they logically cannot hold a position of authority because of the misconception that the female gender is emotionally driven and lacks seriousness which in my opinion is a very wrong and sexist idea. Women are no different species than men they can lead and they can make important decisions and they have the right to contribute to society the same way men does. Another huge reason for this claim is also the fact that women in many undeveloped regions of the world are still oppressed, mistreated and abused, one big example is Iran and Afghanistan where women get killed everyday for the simplest of reasons. Where women are not allowed to step out of their houses without a male companion and without covering from head to toe. These women are also not allowed to get any education and basic human needs which makes them unable to escape from the authority that men have over them.

To conclude, we definitely cannot talk about gender equality today when there are women still suffering in different parts of the world. Just because western societies have granted their women to be equal to men doesn’t mean that we can forget about all the others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that societies have not achieved gender equality, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You give relevant reasons, including women’s limited representation in senior roles, sexist assumptions about leadership, and restrictions faced by women in Iran and Afghanistan. These examples show a sound response to the question. To strengthen the argument further, develop the points more evenly: the discussion of workplace inequality is broad, while the claims about women being killed or denied education would benefit from precise explanation or a specific supporting example. The response already shows some development beyond a basic answer, but fuller support and less sweeping generalisation would make the reasoning more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall shape: an introduction states your view, the main paragraph presents reasons and examples, and the conclusion returns to the central claim. Ideas generally progress from workplace inequality to discrimination and then to restrictions in some countries. However, placing nearly all the supporting points in one long paragraph makes the argument harder to follow. The repeated use of “and” also creates some run-on sequences, while “Another huge reason” signals a new point without giving it a separate paragraph. Divide the discussion into focused paragraphs and use clearer links between each claim and its evidence. This would improve progression and make referencing easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “gender equality,” “position of authority,” “misconception,” “oppressed,” and “contribute to society.” These choices help communicate your argument and show some willingness to use less common language. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or informal, however, such as “leading power,” “female dominated,” and “granted their women to be equal.” There are also spelling and form issues, including “developpement” and “everyday” where “every day” is intended. Aim for more precise, natural phrasing and check spelling carefully; this will make the argument sound more controlled without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in “Even though…” and longer sentences explaining causes and consequences. The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors reduce control. For example, “Women are no different species than men” needs an article and a more accurate comparison, and “the same way men does” has a subject–verb agreement error. Several sentences run together, particularly the sequence beginning “One of the many reasons,” and the sentence starting “Where women are not allowed” is a fragment. Use full stops to separate complete ideas, check agreement and articles, and vary sentence length so complex structures remain clear.

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