Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these days, women are more empowered to take their life decisions as compared to past. Over the past 50 years, we have observed changes in women's position, however, we are not confident to claim that our societies are giving equality to both genders in the same way. In this essay, I am going to discuss both sides of this view before giving my opinion.

Many people say that in the past, women were not allowed to take part in the financial decisions for their families. Their daily tasks were defined around taking care of children, spending time in the kitchen and ensuring the well-being of a family. Their position was quite unclear in terms of empowerment and careers. However, as most of the people believe that women's role have been changed over the past 50 years. Most of the people support this view that women should be encouraged to choose a path for their career. They believe in women taking part in the financial betterment of their families.

On the other side, there are some people who believe that despite of all the positive changes in terms of gender, societies failed to achieve gender equality. They often link their views to the reasons such as traditional mindsets, patriarchal approach, media's role and cultural barriers. They think that these reasons along with many others play their part in creating resistance to achieve gender equality.Some people say that societies are creating barriers for women to achieve a better position in terms of their education and jobs as well.

In my opinion, I strongly believe that despite all the positive changes, women are still facing hurdles in getting equal to men. In Pakistan, gender parity gap is the highest as compared to other developing countries. It means that we as a nation failed to recognize the true strength of a woman. We are not letting women to participate in workforce as compared to men.

To conclude, I believe in gender mainstreaming and to ensure that full capabilities of women must be used. As we can see that women are getting education and doing jobs, however, our society still needs to recognize their roles and give them equality. In this way, we can say that in the next ten years, we are able to transform our societies in a better way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses the question and gives a clear position: you agree that progress has occurred but that gender equality has not been achieved, especially in Pakistan. You also discuss both the changes in women’s roles and continuing barriers, including traditional attitudes, cultural barriers, education and employment. These are relevant points, but some are asserted rather than explained. For example, the paragraph about past and present roles lists changes without showing how they demonstrate progress, while the Pakistan example would be stronger with a specific illustration or evidence of unequal participation. The conclusion restates your view and suggests future change, but the argument would be more convincing if each main point were developed and directly linked to the extent of your agreement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, paragraphs presenting progress and continuing inequality, your own view, and a conclusion. The progression from historical change to present barriers is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other side” and “In my opinion” help readers identify shifts. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and also shows some stronger control through paragraphing and a consistent central position. However, some linking is mechanical, and the opening promises to “discuss both sides” even though the essay mainly presents aspects of one issue rather than developing contrasting arguments. The transition into the Pakistan example could also be more explicit, and the missing space in “gender equality.Some” interrupts the flow. Use clearer links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “gender parity gap,” “patriarchal approach,” “cultural barriers,” and “gender mainstreaming.” These terms help you discuss social structures and women’s opportunities, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also some imprecise or unnatural choices that limit flexibility and precision: “giving equality to both genders,” “financial betterment,” and “getting equal to men” do not express the ideas as naturally as standard academic collocations would. “Their position was quite unclear” is also vague in context. Aim to choose precise phrases for equality, participation and opportunity, and check collocations when using less common vocabulary. These improvements would make your argument sound more fluent without requiring more complicated wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “however” and a conditional structure in “In this way, we can say that…”. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the reader can follow your argument. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, infinitives and sentence boundaries. For example, “women’s role have been changed” should use a singular or plural subject consistently, and “despite of all the positive changes” has an incorrect construction. In “we are not letting women to participate,” the verb pattern needs correction; the sentence beginning “Most of the people support…” is also awkwardly joined to the preceding sentence. Review these patterns and punctuate sentence boundaries carefully. More accurate control of these forms would strengthen the otherwise understandable range.

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