Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Waman's role underwents a significant transformation in several societies over the former half five decades, while proponents of societies can not yet claim the achievement of gender quality. Iam inclined to believe that though the great function of waman in life, a large number of societies find it unachievable to adopt the consept of quality gender, chiefly because the inquality in terms of hiring and job positions, also the cultural backround of the place which rises the gap of this international issue.

The principal justifaction for this stance is that, there are several male-centred companies, that stimulate the male power, and this steams to the fact, they tend to appoint and hire men in the best positions with best conditions and accompanied with high salary, a partinent example, is that in many arabs countries the excellent students in universities are women, but when you look at companies positions, it would be apparent that men acquire the vast majority of high positions. hence this is a great sign of job unquality.

Furthermore, cultural backrounds play pivotal role in societies decsions and belifs, specially in terms of adopting unfamillier consepts, like gender equality, and this mainly because of narrowed mindsets which tend to dont accept the reality that life is lasting and human must be opened to everything so that he can be able to life peacfullly. in light of that government should foster and encourage women to do not stop and continue sucssessed, and this can be seen through rising awarness in society, particularly over those who are less civilised.

In conclusion, i maintain that gender unequality still exist in today's world, given that companies are larging the gap more and more through job unequality, also the excessive adopt of cultural backrounds and the refuse of unfamilliar consepts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear overall position: societies have made progress, but gender equality has not been achieved. The two relevant reasons—unequal access to senior jobs and cultural resistance—address the question, and the example of women excelling at university while men hold many senior posts helps illustrate the first point. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the example is broad and lacks detail, while the cultural argument is difficult to follow and does not explain clearly how attitudes maintain inequality. The introduction also refers to women’s changing role without specifying what has changed. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation and a concrete example, and make the extent of your agreement explicit and consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion that restates your view. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the cultural paragraph moves from narrow mindsets to government encouragement and then to awareness-raising without showing the links between these ideas. Some transitions, including “hence” and “in light of that,” feel mechanical, and the long opening sentences make relationships between points harder to follow. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain it and give a directly relevant example; use referencing and transitions to make those connections clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary suited to the topic, including “male-centred,” “pivotal role,” “high positions,” and “gender equality.” This gives you some ability to discuss social and workplace issues. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “cultural background,” “concept,” and “inequality,” while frequent spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the argument difficult to understand. Examples include “gender quality” for “gender equality,” “job unquality,” and “the excessive adopt of cultural backgrounds.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “life is lasting” and “continue sucssessed.” Build a reliable set of topic-specific collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; precise, natural phrasing will make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and use subordinate clauses, for example, “though …, a large number of societies…” and “because of narrowed mindsets which tend to…”. This shows an effort to use more than simple sentence patterns. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms can make meaning difficult to follow. For instance, the opening sentence joins ideas with “while” in an unclear structure, and “government should foster” needs an article or plural subject. The sentence beginning “the principal justification” also contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly attached explanation, then check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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