Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In my opinion, while the position of women has changed positively through years, there is still yet to achieve gender equality

Firstly, we will take a closer look on the lack of equality in children. While little girls are supposed to be obedient, boys can have a tantrum and not be scolded, more likely endulged or even encouraged. While girls are expected to learn discipline and follow rules at such young ages, boys do not go through the same pressure. When it comes to punishment, it tends to be harsher on girls, the gravity of the mistake not being relevant, while boys can have violent outburst and not face repercussions.

Secondly, in teenagers and youth, we can see more complex situations that highlight the inequality women face today. One thing can be noted in education. Women have to work harder, be consistent and disciplined. And yet, they tend to get less recognition and praise compared to their male coleagues. Later on, in work environments, they face the same fate. For them, it is expected to perform under pressure and help. And yet, there is always at least one situation where a man gets more praise or a promotion for less effort. The topic of payment can also be mentioned, women being uderpaid and having less opportunities of a raise.

In conclusion, even if women gained more rights and freedom, they still face difficulties when it comes to equality. Wethre we talk about work, education or emotional and social situations, there is still more effort needed to reach a fair attiude towards them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that women’s status has improved but gender equality has not yet been achieved. The response addresses the question through examples from childhood, education and employment, including unequal expectations, recognition, promotion and pay. These are relevant areas and show a reasonable range of perspectives. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: for example, the claim that girls are punished more harshly and that men receive promotions for less effort would be stronger with a brief explanation or specific example. The opening also says little about how women’s position has changed over time. Developing that contrast and supporting key claims more fully would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around different stages of life, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the progression. Within paragraphs, however, the repeated “While” and “And yet” constructions can make the links feel mechanical, and some references are not fully clear—for instance, “For them, it is expected to perform under pressure and help” leaves the subject of “it” uncertain. The second paragraph also moves quickly from education to work and pay. Use more varied links and make the relationship between each example explicit to create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss social expectations and workplace inequality, including “obedient,” “discipline,” “recognition,” “repercussions,” and “opportunities.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some are suitably specific to the topic. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “endulged,” “coleagues,” “uderpaid,” and “Wethre.” Some phrases are also awkward or imprecise, including “the gravity of the mistake not being relevant” and “a fair attiude towards them.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, especially when expressing claims about pay, promotion and social attitudes. This would make your vocabulary more controlled and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including subordinate clauses beginning with “While” and “even if,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some sentence patterns are effective, such as “While little girls are supposed to be obedient, boys can have a tantrum.” However, there are several grammatical problems. The opening lacks a complete, well-formed clause (“there is still yet to achieve gender equality”), and “In my opinion” is followed by a sentence that needs clearer construction. In “For them, it is expected to perform,” the subject and verb pattern are faulty; “they are expected to perform” would be clearer. Review sentence completeness, pronoun reference and clause structure, while continuing to use complex sentences.

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