Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The status of women has changed a great deal in many communities throughout the pervious half-century, yet those societies cannot claim to have achieved sex equality. I completely agree with that because retrictions in women career and early marriage of women are still so common in many societies, which are not equally imposed to the men.

Admittedly, women face strict restrictions in many societies both for their job and study. They still don't get permission from their family to go outer world for better education and job opportunities. For example, in many societies, people think that women's only duty is to maintain their family. So, they are unable to get equal opportunity as men to explore their potential and capability. Consequently, they cannot expand their educational background to have a better career.

Additionally, women are forced to get married at early age, specially in country side. As a result, they cannot continue their education and eventually they have to give up their all dreams. This lead to serious mental conditions for the women. For instance, in developing countries like Bangladesh, women have to get marriageearlier to take responsibilities of their husband's family. Even after marriage, they are not allowed to do any kinds of job and study. Ultimately, they may lose their freedom as well as their ability to do someting bigger.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with that societies still cannot ensure gender equality, although the position of women has evolved over past years. This is because they still don't get the equal opportunities for their career, freedom and education as like as they men can do.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you completely agree that societies have not achieved gender equality. You address relevant reasons, especially unequal access to education and work and early marriage, and the Bangladesh example helps make the second point more concrete. This meets the task well, though the two main ideas are not developed equally: the first paragraph makes broad claims about family restrictions without a specific illustration, while the marriage paragraph explains consequences more fully. To strengthen the response further, explain how these barriers demonstrate wider inequality and add more precise support rather than generalising about what women face in many societies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two focused body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from restrictions on education and employment to early marriage is logical, and signposts such as “Additionally,” “As a result” and “In conclusion” make the sequence easy to follow. This is a coherent arrangement, although some linking is mechanical and ideas within paragraphs could connect more smoothly. For example, the first body paragraph moves from family permission to social expectations and then educational outcomes without fully explaining each link. Use clearer referencing and vary transitions, while making the relationship between each example and the central claim explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your argument, including “equal opportunity,” “career,” “responsibilities” and “freedom.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-choice and collocation errors reduce precision. Examples include “pervious half-century,” “retrictions,” “go outer world,” “country side” and “get marriageearlier.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “expand their educational background” and “do someting bigger.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they make the writing less fluent and precise. Build a bank of accurate collocations for education, employment and marriage, and proofread spelling and spacing carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “although” and “which,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some sentence patterns are controlled, such as “As a result, they cannot continue their education.” However, grammatical errors recur in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction. For example, “This lead to serious mental conditions” needs subject–verb agreement, and “they have to give up their all dreams” has an incorrect determiner pattern. The final phrase “as like as they men can do” is also structurally unclear. Review these patterns and check each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb and natural clause structure.

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