Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Summit Mastery · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I can agree the position of women in society has changed in a good way, but I also think that is true the affirmation that we have not achieved a true gener equality. In this essay I will elaborate how those two statements can coexist.

First of all, women in history had to fiercely fight for their rights, the ones we deem as non negotiable in the moment. And we, as women, had to endure to much pain and suffering to reach the posistion we hold in the present.

Yes, we enjoy our jobs, our education and economic autonomy; but we face many issues men do not have to go through, one of them being a certain percentage of population debating wether we deserved all those right or not. And that is why we cannot claim we are already a society where both women and men are treated equally.

Every day we see young women struggling to make themselves to be listened when they suffer from a sexual assault, or fighting over social stigmas to study a bachelor degree or to chase a professional career. Those are not issues men have to face in their daily basis, quite the opposite, society encourage them to persue their dream jobs with no challenges that hinder their way to reach their goals.

Usually, women are still depicted to only be a mother figure or a suppport for someone else, not to be their own priority with agency and dreams. That is why we cannot call us yet a gender equal society, but still we have a long way to travel.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you accept that women’s circumstances have improved while arguing that equality has not yet been achieved. You address both sides through examples involving education, employment, autonomy, sexual assault, and social expectations. This is relevant and gives the essay a consistent response to the question. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that men face “no challenges” in pursuing careers is too broad, and the discussion of women being challenged over their rights would be stronger with a specific example or explanation of how this limits equality. Develop fewer points in greater depth and qualify generalisations to make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on historical progress, two paragraphs describing continuing inequalities, and a concluding statement. Linking phrases such as “First of all,” “Yes,” and “That is why” help readers follow the main direction. The overall progression is understandable, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and “Yes” does not clearly signal how the paragraph relates to the previous point. The final paragraph repeats the central claim without drawing together the examples. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to the argument, and make the conclusion briefly synthesise the main reasons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “economic autonomy,” “sexual assault,” “social stigmas,” and “agency,” and these choices help communicate your concerns. There is also some attempt to use less common expressions, such as “non-negotiable” and “hinder their way.” However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “gener equality,” “posistion,” “wether,” and “persue.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “make themselves to be listened” and “in their daily basis” do not express the intended meaning idiomatically. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; a more precise vocabulary range will make your argument sound more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including a contrastive opening and sentences with subordinate clauses, such as “That is why we cannot claim…” Communication is generally possible, but some grammatical errors make sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “I can agree the position…” needs a different verb pattern, while “we have not achieved a true…” is not correctly connected to the preceding clause. In “struggling to make themselves to be listened,” the infinitive construction is faulty, and “society encourage them” has a subject–verb agreement error. Practise accurate clause linking, verb patterns, and agreement, then proofread each sentence for a complete and natural grammatical structure.

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